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Who do I HAVE to invite to my wedding?

DF and I are finally getting married but due to our limited, barely existing funds we don't know who to invite. We're already past 50 guests. I have about 30 in my family. My mom and dad plus their possible dates (they just divorced) and my sister with or without her husband (they just got separated) and my 3 grandparents are fine. The rest are aunts, uncles and cousins my parents say I have to invite. 7 of which I met 3 years ago once. They ignored my family up until my grandmother died. I met them at the funeral.

Who do I have to invite, who would be rude to exclude? I don't want to offend anyone but DF and I are barely making it by as we speak (it'll be better in 2 months but still) and can't afford many more.

We plan on spending a few nights in a local hotel, and possibly paying a family member to stay with our 2 DS, and having the ceremony and reception in the same place, most of our budget is going to the reception.

 
ExenoRainbow

Asked by ExenoRainbow at 1:48 PM on Aug. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (72 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • What is your guest limit?

    Start with that & make a list of most important to least important & start eliminating. This is something you'll have to take your time with. Get the word out that it will be a "SMALL" wedding. After the wedding, send out an announcement to the relatives who could not come. And on the announcement you can say something like "Philip & Chica were married on Sep. 30th, They had a small wedding at the top of Tray Mountain with their closest friends & family & would like to share with you the excitement of there union"

    OK, that was lame, I'm sure you can come up with something better, but you know what i mean. We sent out announcments to people we did not invite & a BUNCH of them actually sent us money & gifts!

    We had a guest limit of 75 because there was a limit to the # of people that could be in/at the lodge we had it at.

    Cont...
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:58 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • You do not "have" to invite anyone. Invite only the people your truly want to be there and screw the rest
    Maureen-MD

    Answer by Maureen-MD at 1:51 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • Why don't you just go somewhere and get married and invite no one? Solves a whole bunch of problems and you don't even have to tell them ahead of time. Just get married and then make the announcement. You don't have to invite a single solitary person, and in this case, I would not.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:54 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • You don't have to invite them because your mom says so. Just invite the most dearest family members and friends. You're on a budget and they should respect you and your DF. This is your wedding, not theirs.

    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 1:52 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • If it's as bad as you say, then scale down your guest list to include only your immediately families and maybe some very close friends. By that, I mean, your parents and siblings, grandparents. If the rest of your family, you barely ever see at all, then don't worry about inviting them. Remember, this is your wedding, not your parents, so your guest list is up to you. Unless your parents are willing to contibute to the costs of inviting guests that you barely know, don't worry about it.
    thatgirl70

    Answer by thatgirl70 at 1:53 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • Perhaps to avoid all of that just do immediate family (no dates only spouses). Mom, dad, siblings (spouses if married), grandparents....... and that is it.


    Or you could elope!

    sahlady

    Answer by sahlady at 1:53 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • we saved for 2 yrs to pay for our wedding and even with that we had to limit our numbers to about 150. my fil has some "political" friends he felt he needed to invite. The ones that were not on our list he offered to pay for. If it is THAT important to your mother... offer up that she can pay to have them there.
    sahlady

    Answer by sahlady at 1:54 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • You also have to take into account that about %15 of the guest list dont show. It could be a child that they decided not to bring, or a date that got sick. There are ALWAYS a few no shows, or last minute cancelers.

    We managed it OK. Out of the 75 invited, 65 came. And most of the people who did not make it were the kids...who were left with a baby sitter so that their parents could party....lol. And there was 1 or 2 folks who had to cancel last minute. Whatever! More beer & food for the others!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 2:01 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • YOU DO NOT HAVE TO INVITE ANYONE WHOM YOU DON'T WANT TO. INVITE ONLY THE PEOPLE THAT ARE VERY CLOSE TO YOU AND HAVE CONTACT WITH YOU CONSTANTLY. YOU DON'T NEED TO INVITE SOMONE YOU ONLY SEE ONCE OR TWICE A YEAR OR JUST MET AT A FUNERAL. YOU WANT TO INVITE PEOPLE THAT MEAN THE MOST TO YOU. AT A LATER DATE YOU CAN POSSIBLY HAVE A OUTDOOR GATHERING TO CELEBRATE YOUR MARRIAGE WITH THE REST OF THE CREW.
    I PLANNED MY WEDDING IN 6 WEEKS AND HAD A BUDGET OF $600, AND INVITED 250 ONLY CLOSE FRIENDS AND FAMILY. I HAVE AUNTS THAT I HADN'T SEEN SINCE I WAS 19, I GOT MARRIED AT 23. I DID NOT INVITE THEM BUT SENT ANNOUNCEMENTS AFTER I WAS MARRIED.
    MOMMYOF4ALMOST5

    Answer by MOMMYOF4ALMOST5 at 2:06 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • Invite the people that you want to share in your special day. Don't feel obligated to invite distant relatives - if you are questioned about it, explain that you are having a very small wedding.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 2:45 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

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