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I am deciding if a divorce is the right thing to do. I don't feel anything toward him anymore. When he hugs me, it's just a hug..nothing more. I don't even want sex from him anymore. Do I try to work on this or divorce?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:30 PM on Oct. 7, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • If the only thing missing in your marriage is that spark, then it's worth working on. Sex in a marriage waxes and wanes, it can come back. Counselling could help.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 2:31 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • work on it. feelings change. you made a commitment. for better or for worse. marriage is based on commitment, not just feelings.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:35 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • First you need to figure out why you're feeling this way. Is it something he's done? Is it just a lack of sexual interest? Really.... think is it him or is it you? I think you should sit down and talk it out, maybe try a marraige counselor. If the only thing that's wrong is your feelings on the matter you should keep trying. Try to remember why you fell in love with him in the first place. Is he a great father? Was he a great lover? Was he caring, compassionate, funny? Remember him for who he is, and think really hard... if the problem is you... Is moving on to another man really going to help?

    Answer by catwalksymphony at 2:54 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • I agree with catwalksymphony...if he has not done anything hurtful to you, and its just you, then you should seek counseling. I have felt that way before and lots of times it was because my hubby was not showing me the same affection and he in the past. He's always busy with work and I'm at home with the kids. But now after marriage counseling we always try to make "US" time. Its very important to make time to go on to the movies,a walk in the park,pier etc. Don't give up. Especially if he's a good man. Good luck darling..

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:12 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • if you have children you should always try to work it out. the vows stand for something and when people divorce they send the same message around that the vows mean nothing. i seems the problems lays with you anyway. you can put some effort into it too. not by just letting him hug. take the moment to really hug him and squeeze him.

    Answer by melody77 at 3:13 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • Rarely in life is moving on a better choice - especially when there isn't a clear "reason". Go to counseling. Get your head on straight. ... listen to the other people. The grass really isn't greener... everyone has a bag of poop. You made a serious commitment whether you even understood what it meant.... if you have a family you OWE it to everyone involved to give it a shot before you throw it all away like people of family was something disposable. It makes people feel like trash. I think you'll find that once you open up and start to do some work you'll realize that marriages don't just happen...

    Answer by AggieMamacita at 3:14 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • well, actually a couple of weeks ago i felt like that towards my hubby. i didnt want any thing from him...i didnt let him know, but i did in the end talk to him and we worked it out and now we seem to be communicating better. i wouldnt go for a divorce until youve done everything you can and theres still nothing. try talking to him or spending more time with him or if you spend too much time together have a girls night, if that doesnt work try marriage counseling. in all of the relationships ive ever had, ive gone through this stage that seems like i get bored with the person and after i leave them the feelings come back and im just sitting there kicking myself. its not worth just leaving try to work on it first and then if youre sure its what you want then maybe its the right thing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:33 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • I agree with the others. You need to figure out why this change happened. This may very well be fixable. Passion can come and go in a marriage. Just because you don't feel any passion now doesn't mean your marriage is over. Get yourself (and him, if he's willing) to a therapist. Don't walk away until you've exhausted every avenue, or you'll probably regret it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:06 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • Work on it. Talk to him. Really make an effort to be turned on by him. Try different things sexually, and change it up. Please dont divorce. Try EVERYTHING first. Unless you are being abused, dont understand why you wouldn't try as hard as you can!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:26 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

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