Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Have you tried marriage counseling? Did it work? Any suggestions?

 
Cabominny

Asked by Cabominny at 2:33 PM on Aug. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (16 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • We did not do traditional counseling; we actually attended a couple's retreat and did 12 follow sessions that helped us discuss some of the issues in marriage; in a group setting. Our weekend consisted of about 35 couples; we didn't share unless we wanted to. The weekend was religion based but we are not religious but all couples were welcomed. The program was very intimate; it gave us alot of time for healing in our way; with our own words without anyone telling us if it was right or wrong to feel the way we felt; we learned how to accept the way the other felt. Hubby and I were separated for 4 months prior to attending the program and this was by far the best decision we have made. Traditional counseling for me was not an option, I didn't want someone that didn't know me or my marriage to tell me what needed to be fixed so the program was a good compromise for us both.

    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 2:41 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • I got more out of counseling by myself then marriage counseling. We attended counseling together a long time ago. It was just more of a he said/she said thing. I don't think we had a good therapist. I went to someone on my own and it really helped me a lot. It helped us. I figured out how to get what I want from my husband without being a bit*h!
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 2:52 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • We had it before we was married it was required..
    MTM

    Answer by MTM at 2:39 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • I did but it wasn't because of any problems. I live in TN and marriage licenses are $98.50 but if you decide to do 4 hours of marriage counseling beforehand you only have to pay $38.50. I would suggest that if you think you need to attend marriage counseling you get somebody that you both are willing to talk to and be honest with.

    Juggalette0327

    Answer by Juggalette0327 at 2:45 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • I tried it and no it didn't work. My ex husband wasn't putting any effort into "fixing our marriage". I think counseling can be beneficial as long as both parties are sincere in the desire to keep the marriage.
    dmdblleb

    Answer by dmdblleb at 2:46 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • We haven't yet. But we have agreed since before we got married that we would if it became necessary. I've gone on my own before.
    lmt_mom2010

    Answer by lmt_mom2010 at 2:54 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • yes and it has worked.We had our 30 th anniversary in July.We have been three separate times about every 8 or 9 years.The first time we were on the verge of a divorce ,I only went because I felt I owed my children a total effort.There was not any abuse or cheating.We were fortunate had a great couples therapist that connected with both of us and was not afraid to tell either of us we were on the wrong track.We have very different personalities and ways of communicating so after awhile we get lazy.Now we try to get help before the really harsh feelings start to surface.We both are very happy we are together.

    drfink

    Answer by drfink at 3:07 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • I think if both couples go in with no ideas of what is to happen and 100% willing to work on it then yeah I think it can work. It did for my parents. But with my ex and I, no it didn't. But I think that was because he already knew he wanted something else and had no desire to work on it.
    Walker101

    Answer by Walker101 at 3:15 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • i went to relationship counseling with an ex... it didn't work because he set it up thinking the counselor would tell me how i am wrong and actually spent alot of time discussing my ex's inability to be flexible and communicate or admit fault lol. (i guess he WAS the problem after all).

    i went to marriage counseling - by myself - a couple years ago. even though hubby backed out of it, i still went and it DID work!
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 6:54 PM on Aug. 16, 2010