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S/O - Have you ever

For those that have responded that your instincts were correct, can you go into more detail? What were the signs/hints? How did you confirm it? And what did you do about it?

I know he's far too busy to actually DO anything. He's known for a LONG time my general feelings about cheating, and he says he agrees with me, and that if he was going to do something like that he wouldn't bother trying to hide it. I don't necessarily think he's done something physical with someone else. But I know I've seen him flirt (even though he obviously didn't think he was flirting), and a couple things that would strike me as emotionally cheating (talking to another woman about rough things with work before talking to ME about it).

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:41 PM on Aug. 16, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Things just felt wrong. He was very distant and pulled away from me emotionally. Then he would have crazy stories as to where he was going or talking to. Also he was very defensive about anytime I would try to talk to him about what was going on. He was very secretive with his phone adn when he was on the computer etc. When his group of friends came to pick him up to go out (and SHE was with them) he refused to kiss me in front of the window where they could see us. There were so many little things that I just knew. It still took me a long time to come to terms with it and face it, but I knew for a long time.
    jillybean703

    Answer by jillybean703 at 3:49 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • With my ex I found out through friends that he was unfaithful, so I confronted him and he promised he would stop. I was 19 and pregnant so I trusted him. Then I started getting hone calls whereit would be a private number, would ring once, hang up and then he would grab the phone "to check the time" or whatever excuse and would go off with it and then I'd catch him chatting on it. I confronted him, he denied it and then I found out againthrough friends he was unfaithful... so we split up.
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 2:43 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • Well in my most recent breakup it was that he seemed overly concerned about this one particular person. Back in Dec he was upset that she didn't have much money for Christmas. Then in March I noticed that every single evening he was chatting with her on facebook. In April I started to hang close to him to see what he was chatting about and he was deleting all the chat stuff constantly. At the end of April I waiting for him to go outside to visit a friend and I snuck over to peek at his email and there were emails between the two of them talking about missing each other. In May we seperated. In June we divorced and they became a known item.
    Walker101

    Answer by Walker101 at 3:13 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • for me it was the way other girls talked to him on Instant messaging but they didn't specifically talk like they were doing anything so i gave him the benefit of the doubt. then he got a call from some girl that was upset with him. i didn't hear the conversation and he told me she got the wrong impression from him or something and thought they were an item and then she heard i was with her so she got upset. I heard him tell her the truth about me on the phone so again i gave him the benefit of the doubt mainly because i was afraid of the truth. then a couple months later his roomate called me up and said i have to tell you the truth about your boyfriend because its pissing me off what he is doing to you. I was still so afraid of the truth so i doubted the roomate especially since i never met him. but instead of just giving him the benefit of the doubt again i hacked into email and found emails that proved everything!
    Mom2Mikayla07

    Answer by Mom2Mikayla07 at 3:35 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • With my ex i found out because i'm nosy as shit!!(lol) It still took me almost 6 months before i conforted him though. When i did, he denied it, but i had too much proof. I knew because he was too sneaky, not coming on on time, if at all, not helping with our son, lying, he never had any money. But if you feel it in your gut...it's probably something to it.
    EttaMay

    Answer by EttaMay at 4:12 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • at 1 time before i had my baby father my ex boyfriend cheated on me & i confronted him of course he denied it i kept asking him then he finally admited that he did it & i got a phone call from the girl he cheated on me with sister & then when i broke up with him they became a couple then i dont what happened to them
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 4:14 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • there is one in particular that cheated continuously for a long time. i am the kind to always give the benefit of the doubt so i had to have proof and stayed in that relationship way too long. (that said, every time i've had a true gut feeling - not to be confused with listening to gossip or inner insecurities - it's been right). anyway... he started to be overcontrolling of me as if i were the one doing something wrong. he was always gone longer than he was supposed to be. he hid phone calls. the girl he cheated with (well the one i know for sure) was really young and he played off their relationship they were just friends or her was the older brother figure - gross - anyway, that's pretty consistent. although it is possible for men and women to be just friends, when the female doesn't make an effort to get to know her "friend's" partner, that's a sign. i also would catch him in smaller lies. he wanted to spend less time w me
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 6:48 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • there was another who was always flirty - started having inappropriate internet friendships. always wanted boys night out (which again is normal but not all the time and would get really shitty or defensive if i wanted to get out too).
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 6:50 PM on Aug. 16, 2010