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For adoptive moms - do you support your son or daughter having access to their original birth certificate? Or do you believe the only one they need is the altered birth certificate issued after an adoption?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:58 PM on Oct. 7, 2008 in Adoption

Answers (28)
  • It depends on the situation. Do you plan on telling your child that they are adopted? If so why hide who they really are from them? I think that parents need to be truthful at all times with their children and shouldn't hide who they really are or where they came from from them? But ultimately in all honesty its up to the parents what is right for their child.
    awife1life3kids

    Answer by awife1life3kids at 3:02 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • As an adoptive mother, I must admit I was stunned to realize that after we adopted our daughter, that the birth certificate has me and my husband listed as birth parents. That really angered me and upset me. Fortunately, I got a photocopy of her original birth certificate before the adoption so I at least have something for her. I think it does her birthmother an incredible disservice to be removed as the woman who gave birth to her.
    mommytoadam

    Answer by mommytoadam at 3:41 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • It's not that I don't love my daughter any more than my bio children, but I don't think it's fair to her or the woman who actually gave life to her to not have her name on the birth certificate. Even though I never met her birth mother, I pray for her and thank her every single day.
    mommytoadam

    Answer by mommytoadam at 3:47 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • I believe my daughter should have access to ALL of her original EVERYTHING. She had a different mom and a different name for the first 3 months of her life...I would never want to erase that part of her. I'm sure the BMom has her first birth certificate and will one day show it to her.
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 4:18 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • I think they should have access to it. I also think we should have been given a copy of it when we adopted our daughters. They should at least have some sort of paper trail if they ever want to find there bio parents. However, I don't think it's wrong that we were issued a new BC with our names on it. They need a BC for everything these days, and if we didn't have one with our names on it, we would have to be explaining all the time WHY we aren't on there. It's no one's business but ours that our daughters are adopted. If they choose to tell someone, that's there decision. I think about there bio parents all the time, and wish I could let them know how wonderful there little girls are, and how thankful I am that they let us raise them.
    LizClara

    Answer by LizClara at 4:19 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • To mommytoadam:

    My Keeley's birth certificate (the second one) is just as the first except with our information instead of the birth-parents. However, it does not insinuate in any way that we gave birth to her, just that she was born alive and that we are her parents. It says at the top CERTIFICATE OF LIVE BIRTH and has me as the mom and DH as the dad. I must admit that I was surprised it didn't say "amended" anywhere because that is technically what it is. However, in the eyes of Vital Statistics (at least in the state of Ohio), who she was her first 3 months basically never existed...in fact, she had a SS# that was also deleted from the system. Kind of sad, but yet she isn't that person anymore, so it is also kind of understandable.
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 4:23 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • I find it out they change names on birth certificates, instead of creating an addendum or something equivalent. I understand boths sides of the argument. Adopted parents did not give birth, but the birth certificate does insinuate they did. However, when you adopt a child you are in fact their parents, and they should be like every other family member.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:57 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • AllAboutKeeley: Our daughter's birth certificate actually has me listed as her birth mother and my husband as her birth father. And it does say birth mother and birth father.

    I know in my heart that I am her true mother (she's been with us since she's been 2 days old) but for the first 15 months of her life until we were able to adopt, she had a different name. I'm just glad that I do have a copy of her first certificate to keep back for her when the time is right. I just truly feel like it's a lie. While I wish with all my heart that I had the privilege of giving birth to her, I didn't. That privilege went to her actual birth mother and I don't like the appearance of a lie on a state document. I like the idea of an amended birth certificate. I think that makes so much more sense.
    mommytoadam

    Answer by mommytoadam at 6:04 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • I think this is 1 of those parental judgement calls & totally up 2 u & ur s/o (if ur married or in a relationship where both of u r rasing her). I also agree w/ the moms who answered this ? w/ the bio mom shouldn't b treated as though she never existed & that he/she should have acces 2 it.
    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 6:08 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • As an adoptive mom, yes I would want my son to have access to his original birth certificate. I support the fact that adoptees should have rights to their original birth certificates.
    Kellyjude1

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 6:35 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

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