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9 Bumps

How do you move on after your child's father has passed away due to a car accident?

I'm a single mom my boyfriend who is the father of my son Bentley passed away in a car accident. When he was in the car accident he was on his way to the hospital because I was in labor. When I was finished with labor the police came in the room and told me that he had passed away. I dont know how to move on and I can't stop myself from crying. Please tell me how I can move on because I dont want my 10 month old son see me cry all the time.

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cutekt796

Asked by cutekt796 at 3:47 PM on Aug. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (28)
  • grief therapy and support groups with others with similar situations
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 3:49 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • You get therapy.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 3:50 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • I totally agree... you need grief therapy!!! ((((hugs)))

    Morgain

    Answer by Morgain at 3:52 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • im sorryI am sorry you and your LO are going through this; right now your LO is probably too young to know about dad but I agree for you like the other ladies said is to get some therapy. You have to mourn and let your feelings out so that you can be better for your son, I am really sorry, hugs.

    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 3:53 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • Definitely seek out help. Family members and friends. They can help w/anything & everything. Also a grief support group, just talking it out to others who are in similar situations may help. I couldn't even imagine the pain you are going through. I am very sorry for your and your sons loss! I know this doesn't help but, it will take you a VERY long time to move on. Maybe the best 'place' for you to be right now is exactly where you are. Don't try to rush moving on. Take each day slowly. Try to keep yourself busy - I am sure w/a 10 month old you are plenty busy enough but keeping your mind occupied will help when thoughts start to wander.
    Again, I am sorry for you and your sons loss!
    cheekycherub

    Answer by cheekycherub at 3:53 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • some kind of counseling and being around people who understand your pain i think is what would be best for you.

    im so sorry. ***Hugs***
    ToriBabe1221

    Answer by ToriBabe1221 at 3:54 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • im sorry to hear that you loved 1 passed away i know you are hurting right know but it will get better in time just remember that he loved you & cared about you & would of love to been there in the hospital with you but the sun will shine & you will start smiling again well in due time you should spend time with family then being by yourself so you can have good company with you & you deserve to be with people you love but it would all get better i know it would & i bet your a good person & a good mom to your son just be strong for your son & just remember the good memories you had with your boyfriend :-)
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 3:56 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • I HAVE NEVER HAD THIS PROBLEM.. BUT I WOULD LISTEN TO   http://www.bbnradio.org/ YOU CAN CALL THEM AND THEY WILL TALK TO YOU AND HELP YOU ... WEEK DAYS   1800,888,7077 THEY CARE ABOUT YOU AND YOU CAN LISTEN TO THEM ON THE RAIDO ASK THEM FOR YOUR TOWN.......... THEY ARE GREAT AND VERY HELPFUL TO ME .....................

    yovonna

    Answer by yovonna at 3:57 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • thank you guys I just want the best for my son. And I know that crying in front of him and being depressed around him is definetly not the best thing for him to be around and its not a good thing for him. Just everyday when I look at Bentley I see his father so it feels like i have a part of his father with me everywhere. And it just kills me to know that his father isnt here to see his little boy grow up and I mean I dont want Bentley to think that his father left us cause he didnt want us so when its his birthday I always put in the cards love mommy and daddy and i buy him a toy for his birthday that says one is from me and then one is from his dad. I dont know if that is a wrong thing to do or not.
    cutekt796

    Comment by cutekt796 (original poster) at 3:59 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • I am so sorry for your loss. Ask at the hospital, your Dr, and pediatrician for resources for grief counseling. Do not expect too much of yourself too fast. It takes a long time to accept this. Cry whenever you need to and see your friends. Be with those who really care about you. Don't let anyone rush you. I hope caring for your baby will help the days pass and bring you comfort.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 4:02 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

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