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How can I win full custody of my daughter? How can I prove the other parent is un fit

I need some pointers perferably from people who went through the court system hopefully california. Anyways long story short. I have joint with my ex every two days on and off. He doesn't come pick her up anymore. He works 12 hours a day, tells me I am not allowed to talk to him between 9am -9pm. He lives in a garage at his parents house may I reming you he is 24 years old. I on the other hand have my own apartment going to school 8am-4pm monday through thursday. I have tons of time to spend with her. i am starting to suffer from anxiety attacks. completely worthless without my daughter around me I am starting not to feel like a mom anymore. He on the other hand again, has no communication, is becoming an alcoholic, has a past of domestic abuse 5years. I need help please. If you would like to, it is easier for me to email me if you have any advice or anything to tell lme

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Asked by jblack86 at 3:26 PM on Oct. 7, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (4)
  • None of what you said proves he is unfit, it proves he is irresponsible. What he is doing could get you joint with limited visitation or full with limited visitation. But, don't go in there being hostile and bad talking him. Just state that with him being very busy and otherwise unavailable you need a different visitation schedule that will work better for the both of you. And you could bring up the drinking to get you as the primary parent. I don't think DV will help you because the abuse usually has to be against a child.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 3:54 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • First of all the California legal system sucks. What you need to do is document where he is living, whenever he is supposed to have visitiation and doesn't show up document it. Let the courts know that even in an emergency you are not allowed to contact him until after 9pm. Let them know about the past abuse and the drinking, good luck in winning sole custody.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 4:18 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • Make sure that the past abuse can be proven tho.Also, if he is an alcoholic, you have to prove that too. Don't just say it unless you can prove it.And write down everything: times he didn't show up, times he called, things he said about something, just all kinds of things

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:57 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • document document document..... that's the best thing you can do. every time he doesn't show, every time he says or does something that just isn't right. i'm going through a custody battle now. dh & i are fighting for my step-daughter. y ouhave to prove he's unfit. every thing you claim you have to prove. maybe don't call him an alcoholic but document when he drinks, how much (if you know) if he's drunk, etc. and i know they're expensive, but it's best to get an atty to help you, otherwise you can get lost in the system & red tape. good luck!! hang in there. if you ever need to talk, send me a msg!

    Answer by Davidsgirl03 at 7:00 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

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