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3 Bumps

23 and seaking a tubaligation

I am a 23 year old mother of a 2 1/2 little boy and 2 month old baby girl. My husband and I have been married for 4 years and have always agreed that if we had a boy and girl, we would be finished having children. We have the normal amount of income, maybe even a little less coming into our house even though we both work. It gets expensive paying for a babysitter with even just two children, but we can not afford to live any other way. Anyway, I have elected to have a tubaligation as I still have medical coverage from the pregnancy and we can not afford any more children. We both agree that even if we could afford it in the future, we just want to enjoy and "spoil" the two we have. I was completely decided on going through with the surgery until now (1 week away), but I am thinking it is just because I know what it's like to carry my babies and experience the joy and I know I won't ever have that again. Is this the right move?

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DAjZeZnLE

Asked by DAjZeZnLE at 5:09 PM on Aug. 16, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 4 (42 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • If you're having second thoughts at all, I wouldn't do it. There are ways to prevent pregnancy without the permanent aspect, and you never know how you may feel about it down the road. And if you should change your mind after the fact, it's another invasive procedure to get a reversal, and a lot of times insurance won't cover it.

    If you're completely 100% sure you'll never want any more kids, then go for it. Otherwise, I wouldn't. But that's just me.
    DragonRiderMD

    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 5:12 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • Don't do it unless you are 100% at peace with it being permanent.
    Erin814

    Answer by Erin814 at 5:13 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • You will be hard pressed to find an OB/GYN who will perform a tubal ligation on someone as young as you! Seriously, even if this is what you and your husband want, few doctors will do this on women under age 30. I had my 2nd son at age 35, and even THEN they gave me a hard time about it....because "what if" I changed my mind?!? I went through it anyway! LOL

    They are actually MORE willing to give a man a vasectomy than a woman a tubal!

    That said, if your OB/GYN refuses, and you cannot find someone else who will, consider getting on a long term form of birth control, such as Mirena--which can be left in place for up to 5 years. If after that point, you still want a tubal you will likely be able to get one.
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 5:14 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • If you are second geussing yourself than don't do it. You can not reverse it. I got mine done but I was 100% sure. To many women go through it second geussing themselves and than regret it.
    Alanaplus3

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 5:14 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • If u are having second thought then you should get on a long term birth control until u are positive.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 5:15 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • Only you can answer this. Can they reverse a tubal if you REALLY really changed your mind? I thought they could. If you're not sure, you should wait. I was done at two kids but we knew. I've had days of looking at other babies and thinking "Oh so cute!" but I don't miss the sleepless nights and work. I applaud you for looking at what you can afford. Raising kids cost money---from insurance coverage to school supplies. It's a lot. People think you shouldn't look at it that way but the truth is, more kids can equal more stress and for some, it breaks up their marriage. Talk to your dh, you are still young.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 5:15 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • If you are having second thoughts- WAIT! i was 21 when i had my tubes tied- i made my mind up while i was pregnant with my second- i never had second thoughts or regretted it- You will know when the time is right for you! Good Luck!
    daisyb

    Answer by daisyb at 5:20 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • Because you are second guessing it, I would say to wait. There are a number of reason I am honestly not a fan of tubals. 1. Tubals are major surgery, where a vasectomy is just minor. 2. Tubals are known to cause women to need a full hysterectomy within 10 years after (I've heard this many times throughout college, though it's not talked about much outside of the medical field). 3. Once the fallopian tubes are damaged, it's hard to reverse it, whereas the vas deferens (vasectomy) is KNOWN to heel itself if not properly done, which means it can successfully be reversed (the vas deferens and liver are the only parts of the human body known to regenerate itself).
    I'm 22 with 3 kids and after knowing these facts, I went with the Mirena and LOVE it! I've had it over a year now and am sooo glad I went went with it (2 of my pregnancies were because of bc failures). Make sure to look at your options before you go permanent.
    things_not_sane

    Answer by things_not_sane at 5:24 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • I got my tubal at 26 and they gave me hell. I had to sign all kinds of papers to say I knew what I was doing... I was 100% sure we were done. If you are having second thoughts then you need to wait. A tubal is not an easy or guaranteed reverse. If the reversal didn't work you would be looking at in-vitro to carry another child. That is a HUGE expense. AS others have said there are other ways to prevent pregnancy until you are very very sure.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 5:24 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • I had mine tied when I was 21 for me it was worth it. I would much rather spoil my two girls than have anymore. At times I want to have more babies but then I really think about it and decide I made the right choice. I have never regretted it. It has been 5 years.
    ashisamom

    Answer by ashisamom at 5:26 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

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