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3 Bumps

I cant take it anymore

When me and my fiance fight he brings up my past all the time. I dont know what to do. Should I wait around for him to change and get help or should I leave him?

Answer Question
 
noahsmommy12908

Asked by noahsmommy12908 at 5:38 PM on Aug. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 19 (6,645 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I dont know what is in your past but he needs to let it go If you have changed and proven to him you are different.... He needs to get a grip the past is the past forgive and move on thats what he needs to do
    Truelove77

    Answer by Truelove77 at 5:41 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • You need to sit down and calmly talk to the man and ask him how much longer he intends to this, the past is done with but his bringing it up is destroying your present and your future.
    older

    Answer by older at 5:41 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • That is the worst! My ex would bring up things that happened in my childhood to use against me, like it was MY fault I was abused by a relative that I couldn't become unrelated to. My ex never changed so I wouldn't think yours will either, but I don't know him and what of your past he's bringing up. If it's something that effected him too, then maybe he has a reason, but again, I don't know.
    silversmom

    Answer by silversmom at 5:42 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • That could be a problem later in the relationship if he's already doing that now. I've learned from experience that someone who does that in the now will continue to do that throughout.
    CafeMochaMom1

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 5:42 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • one of the first things the therapist will bring up is that you have leave the past in the past. It's tough. I agree, if he can't break this habit now, could be a long term problem.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 5:47 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • If he's still bringing it up, it's something that's not resolved. Find out if you can resolve the issue - if not, he's not likely to let it go later if he keeps bringing it up now. If that's the point you find you're at, you need to decide if you can handle his bringing it up or not.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 6:03 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • he's not going to change because you continue to put up with it, besides if he wanted to he would. does HE think he needs to get help? he's a jackass. no one should judge you for shit you can't change. we ALL have a past. don't waste any more of your time putting up with that crap. leave.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 6:26 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • if its in the past he needs to leave it there. you two cannot move forward if he keeps bringing up your vices. maybe you should have a one on one with him, if you cheated or whatever maybe he hasnt really forgiven you, especially since he keeps bringing it up
    3xangel

    Answer by 3xangel at 7:21 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • I didnt cheat or anything like that. Its stuff that happened with ex boyfriends and something i didf when I was 15 years old
    noahsmommy12908

    Comment by noahsmommy12908 (original poster) at 7:28 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • All the more reason he should let go and let live!
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 7:45 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

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