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2 Bumps

help I'm so lost

i was going to the bathroom(i left the door open) and i saw my 4year old smack my 1 month old on the top of the head. Should i take the baby in to get checked out? what can i tell the four year old that that's not ok to do? He has issues listening to me about everything else how can i get him to listen to me about that?

Answer Question

Asked by natasha86 at 5:58 PM on Aug. 16, 2010 in Kids' Health

Level 15 (1,879 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • the baby should be fine. I'd limit them being alone,ever until the 4 yr old can learn that hitting ANYONE is wrong,especially a newborn.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 6:00 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • I doubt a doctor visit is necessary; you could call the nurse line to be sure though. If your 4yo understands safety (cars in the road will hurt you) you can try to teach from that perspective (if you're not gentle to baby, you may give baby a boo-boo)

    Answer by silversmom at 6:01 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • well im probably going to hear bashing but that is a danger to your one monther and i would immediatly spank the older child. if you catch him hitting again you need to make the punishment immediate and as drastic as you can without being abusive of course. (althoguh i know some moms consider a swat on the butt abusive, but ido not in a dangerouse situation)

    Answer by cassie_m at 6:02 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • omgosh! yeah thats totally not ok. If you don't call him out on this now he's going to keep doing it and behind your back, I'm sure he might be a little jealous but its still not ok to do. Your baby is a month old. If it wasn't to hard I don't think its a huge deal but I would definetly call the doctor or a nurse line to have piece of mind but your oldest should definetly be disciplined for that, weather is a time out or how ever you discipline, that is not ok.

    Answer by babyangelromero at 6:02 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • Listen to your gut. If you think you should take the 1 month old in, definitely do! You saw how hard the smack was so only you know. For piece of mind it wouldn't hurt to take him in.

    Explain to your 4 year old about keeping his/her hands to him/herself & how dangerous it is to do that to babies & what could happen.

    Good luck!

    Answer by cheekycherub at 6:02 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • At 4-years-old, whatever form of discipline that you use should have been enforced so that he/she understands that hitting is unacceptable. I'm sure the baby is fine though. They are built pretty tough!

    Answer by Erin814 at 6:03 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • You should just check to see that there's no bruising. However, you need to find out exactly why your four year old is picking on your one month old. I would have a talk with him about this because he might be upset by perhaps the attention that is given to the baby.

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 6:04 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • the biggest issue i face is the 4 year old actually listening he laughs in my face when i try to discipline him. He doesn't take me seriously because his father never and still doesn't take me seriously this has been a constant battle

    Comment by natasha86 (original poster) at 6:07 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • Baby will be fine. You will need to get RIGHT on this. Siblings, if you google this, can be really dangerous to babies. Maybe his father will take him and you seriously once the baby gets hurt. Tell that husband of yours to google the above. It's serious and will only worsen if your 4 year old doesn't get disciplined and at 4 they ARE old enough. Don't leave them alone together. Also, it's dicey since the 4 year old is jealous and getting mad will make him resent the baby more. Get good advice on how to handle this. Every kid is different. In my world I spent special time with the older one to make him less jealous and when he acted out toward his little brother I jumped on him like a hawk on prey.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 6:16 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • My two year old is sometimes rough with my dogs, with my husband, with me, and with the baby sometimes. I have witnessed my husband hit my son while at the same time yelling, "Don't hit!" Which I think is hypocrytical and idiotic. What I have done with my son, is hold his arm and show him "soft touches"....and I explain hitting is not okay. And now, (IT'S SO CUTE!) he will stroke my hair and say, "soff, soff, soff, soff"..... And when I remind him to be gentle with the dogs, he will pet them and say it too. He doesn't pay too much attention to my baby (3 1/2 months) on his own, so I encourage him to give kisses and soft touches to the baby at least once a day to prevent future hitting, etc and also to encourage loving affection between them.

    Answer by TLALONDE16 at 6:18 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

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