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Does your husband or SO ever keep score of how much he does for you and "the family"

I was just thinking about this because it is a constant fight. Although we are not married we have been together over 10 yrs. It's not like I did not contribute but he mainly paid for everything and i covered the food, some bills and covered anything the kids needed. To me is seems that if he he was keeping score of how much he did for us then he really wasn't happy and we were just a burden on him. What do you think?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:16 PM on Aug. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • No ..
    MTM

    Answer by MTM at 6:20 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • Yes. Just to start drama. Any males in our sides, of family.... ever since I've known males. Father, uncles, friends' dads, boyfriends' dads, ..........ALL MALES
    coffeeyum

    Answer by coffeeyum at 6:21 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • Nope, I'm sure he doesn't he's not that kind of man
    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 6:21 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • Yes, when we get into arguments he enjoys throwing it in my face. then I get to throw back into his face that if he was paying the bills then they wouldn't keep getting turned off. It's just so rediculous.
    DesertRose75

    Answer by DesertRose75 at 6:23 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • that is a really unhealthy way to have a "relationship" - he's a prick and a control freak. i have many thoughts about this running through my head, but that about sums it up. surely if there is a giant scorecard you should be getting paid for the amount of bullshit you put up with from this man.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 6:24 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • My ex was like that, about everything. It's like we were in a competition to see who did more, paid for more, was worth more. My SO seem to split thing evenly really well. We don't live together, so I don't know about chores, bills, etc yet. I sure hope he isn't like that, because I don't want that. It's not a parntership.
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 6:29 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • We have been having problems off and on. We can go for months w/o fighting and then one fight all the problems come rolling in we issues with his mother, finances, the nuisance of me going to school. The worst thing is that when we fight are fights get ugly because we just try to top each other on who can hurt each other the most. I love him but at the same time I have resented him for a lot of things he always throws in my face. I have 2 daughters one with him and he would give the world for my little one he is a good dad. But we had issues with my older daughter to the point I had to tell him to back off, Im sure he resented me for this. Now our last fight was about his mother and because I spoke bad about her in front of his daughter and he tells me he is done. Now that I think about it he has all these other resentments that we will be able to work out. What do you think?
    jenlesly

    Answer by jenlesly at 6:33 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • The HELL? "I was just thinking about this because it is a constant fight. Although we are not married we have been together over 10 yrs. It's not like I did not contribute" get out of my brain!!

    He's always keeping score of everything he does, but things I do don't count for squat (apparently because cooking, cleaning and laundry are MY job, despite my full time (fairly well paying) job). I bring in the majority of the money (he's in school, and gets a small stipend), do all the cooking, and about 95% of all the cleaning, laundry, child care. He DOES contribute. He does most of the car related crap (though I do still help with that), and most of the yard stuff (which if you see our yard, you'd understand why he doesn't get many brownie points here). But I've had just about enough of hearing about how I don't do anything.
    coder_chick

    Answer by coder_chick at 6:33 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • yes my SO does it, and its abuse.whats really sad tho, they take their personal value from what they PAY, not who they are. so while they think paying for more makes them the man, using those words as weapons actually makes him a child, not a man.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 6:34 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • No my boyfriend doesn't, thankfully.

    Giving should be because you love someone not because you want something in return..but of course generally most people will weigh up the costs and benefit of a relationship if they are dissatisfied. Me and my boyfriend may get dissatisfied with life now and then but not each other..so we don't weigh up costs and benefits and throw them at each other.
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 6:34 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

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