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Is this normal for a 7 month relationship?

Okay - my WSBF (Wonderful,silly boyfriend) lives about 45 minutes away - no excuses... He could do better w/ his 2-3 week visits. Originally, it was more of everyweekend but our schedules... So in a nutshell for his visits he likes rewards however, I believe that rewards are given with a ring! Understand okkkk.... so now, how to address no rewards anymore in a very nice manner (casually without covering the fire). I love him but rewards are not an option with me- Im not ready and I think that bothers him... He say that since I refuse to reward hom that someone else is getting them. I understand he feels that way b/c his visits have gotten far in between and he is not sure what goes on b/c I dont make the effort to call and quite frankly I dont wonder what he is doing b/c I know my value and I have something to to offer- I really want him to see there is more to a relationship than just rewards, working and the tv.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on Aug. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I'm not sure I am understanding.Do you mean he is cut off from sex until you get a ring? But he thinks you are having sex with someone else?
    WeAre138

    Answer by WeAre138 at 11:20 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • WTH?
    paurad

    Answer by paurad at 11:22 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • The only thing you can do it be honest and upfront. Tell him how you feel about the rewards. Make the effort to call. In my experience with relationships, if you want them to last the only way you can make it work is open honesty.
    oklahomapoet

    Answer by oklahomapoet at 11:23 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • Ok. I am just going to be honest with you!... Guys only want one thing and I truly applaud you for not rewarding him if he really loves you than he would wait until marriage. My husband did! If this man really loves you he would still find time to come see you and respect your wishes. Also none of this is your fault and you desire better. If he makes excuses that he can't come see you and if he does not answer your calls I would not waste your time with him. I hope this helps but there are great men in this world that would wait and respect you and your wishes, I promise.
    SawyersMommy603

    Answer by SawyersMommy603 at 11:34 PM on Aug. 16, 2010

  • Ok I applaud you for not wanting to have sex before marriage BUT if a guy told me he was having sex elsewhere he'd be gone.
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 12:09 AM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • Since when do people give rewards in a relationship? If you mean sex, maybe because he isn't getting any? I think you should re-evaluate your relationship. If he's giving rewards to other people, it doesn't sound like he's too committed to you.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:30 AM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • confused

    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 12:33 AM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • Are the rewards sex? And you said the you "don't make an effort to call him" or "wonder what he's doing"? You seriously need to rethink the relationship. And if you're not going to have sex with him that's your choice. but it shouldn't be seen as a reward.
    EttaMay

    Answer by EttaMay at 8:05 AM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • Yeah...You're a control freak. Get help or die alone.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 9:49 AM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • Sex should never be considered a reward. The man is not a puppy waiting for a bone. If you value your virginity and want to wait until marriage, that is honorable. But, considering your on Cafemom, i'm assuming your not a virgin. So, what your actually doing is witholding sex to get something you want (engagement) This is very, very wrong and stupid. I suggest you create a more loving and caring relationship with him. You should care enough to call him and if your not going to have sex, foreplay will work. You need to comprimise and meet him halfway. You cannot assume control simply because you have a vagina.
    allfiller

    Answer by allfiller at 1:54 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

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