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my SO leaving is affecting our daughter :(

my SO left friday. He got his stuff and moved out & broke it off with me ive been extremely upset b/c i did not see this coming. He has seen our dd sincelike 2day he had her while i worked... But he isnt here any other time of the day. Shes 18 months and is so upset. Shell start crying at random times...and hard like shes so sad. She just lay and stare @things shes normally so happy upbeat all the time and smily. And she isnt my sister even noticed 2day &said she looked depressed bc of how she+just+started+crying+randomly.+What+can+i+do?+I+feel+so+horrible.+Im+doing+everything+i+can+2+keep+our+family+together+but+this+is+breaking+my+heart!

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MomNbabyGirl009

Asked by MomNbabyGirl009 at 2:23 AM on Aug. 17, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 20 (9,279 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Sorry that you are going through a painful break-up and so is your daughter. Only she is too young to understand anything other than that someone she loved is gone.

    I don't know the details, but tin the future make sure you do not let new boyfriends meet your daughter until you know they are serious. In my opinion, you should also not move in with someone when kids are involved unless you see yourself walking down the isle with them. I know that is tough, but it is just not fair to the child to have people come and go. It threatens their sense of home and stability. She is young enough to forget this one... but the older she gets the more it will effect her.
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 2:32 AM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • I am so sorry! Just try to reassure her and comfort her. She senses that something important has changed and of course she is aware that he is not there (except while you are working). I would just try to tell her father that despite whatever goes on between you two that he needs to help in lessening the affect this will have on your daughter.

    Again, I'm sorry he left like that. Is he giving you any reason why? Best of luck.
    LittleWeloosMom

    Answer by LittleWeloosMom at 2:33 AM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • Niki- I am pretty sure that the boyfriend she is speaking of is the child's father. I live with the father of my child and we have no plans on getting married. That is our choice.
    LittleWeloosMom

    Answer by LittleWeloosMom at 2:35 AM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • niki this is my daughters father. We were together for over 4 years. Its not a random guy its her dad and i know shes too young to really b depressed i was describing how sad shes been. Shes seen me upset and sad and i know she senses it too even if i dont show it. And i did picture us getting married this is so sudden!
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Comment by MomNbabyGirl009 (original poster) at 2:38 AM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • have you told him that even though he may not want to be with you that it is still important that he spend time with you all. It's important for your dd to see you two getting along.

    And yes your daughter feels sad, she misses her dad. How about getting a picture of him that she can hold.

    But I'd seriously have a talk with the ex to see if he would come around more often so your baby girl can adjust.
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 2:47 AM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • I think that you and him need to sit down and talk about what your DD is going though child are a lot smarter then we think. She knows that for her whole life Daddy has been there and know Daddy is only there when momma is at work. That is a huge change for a child. You and him need to put the issues you all have aside when your DD is around and you both need to put a smile on your faces and let your DD see that you two are alright. There is such a thing as parenting together when the parents aren't together anymore. It makes it easier for the child adjustments.
    For you momma keep your head held high you and your DD will be fine and i have always said men are so unexpected. Could it be that he could be going though something in life. I just can't understand after 4 years of a relationship and one day he just packs his shit and leaves you with a baby and a broken heart. Im sorr that you ae going though this right now momma.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 4:17 AM on Aug. 17, 2010

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