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2 Bumps

If you are divorced with young children... often does your ex see them?

The reason I'm asking is this:

DH and I are getting a divorce. We have two children, ages 5 (girl) and 7 (boy). When I get enough money saved, I am moving to Missouri where all of my family and friends are. DH doesn't plan on moving with us and says he will see them every other weekend and is fine with only seeing them that often. Does this sound like an ok plan and is it often enough for them to see their dad? He is fine with me moving to Missouri with them and I am fine with having them full time. He is gay (just came out) and has a partner that's 25 years older than him (I just found all of this out recently) so there will not be another women in the picture that will want to have the kids. I hope this is not too confusing and I'm hoping I can get some advice or opinions. Thanks!!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:04 PM on Aug. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • My x seldom saw them (his choice). I was young when my parents divorced. I saw my gay dad every weekend until he moved to another state then I saw him all summer but went home to my mom during the school year. It worked out fine.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:09 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • I was divorced with 4 small children. My ex left in 2000 its now 2010 and he hasnt seen them once. He has made a phone call here and there and has promised he would see 2 of them who actually are ok with talking to him last summer but something came up. Thank God I found a good husband who loves them and has been in their lives the last 8 years. If he is comfortable moving thats good it will be up to him how often he would like to see the kids. It used to break my heart that the man I married wanted to be childless and ignore his kids. Then I thought I cant make him be there emotionally for his kids but I can make sure he wont financially forget them.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 1:12 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • I'm not in the same situation, but I am married to a man that has a daughter from a previous marriage. Right now, we get her 1/2 the summer and every other weekend throughout the school year and we split all school vacations and rotate holidays. I would try to see if he wants them more, before you move. Every other weekend is pretty standard for the non-custodial parent. Glad to see there is a bio-mom out there looking out for the kids' best interest. (My SD's mother uses her to keep getting more money out of my DH). I wish you well.

    Answer by JGRIMMER at 1:13 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • My ex sees our kids every other weekend, and every other Wednesday afternoon for 3 hours - so he goes 10 days without seeing them all the time, and more than that when vacations are thrown in. They don't seem to have a problem with how often they see him - in fact, they ask when they "have to go back to dad's" They are 8, 10, and 12 now. We separated when they were 4, 6, and 8 - they've adjusted fine.

    Answer by missanc at 1:55 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • my ex lives out of state and only sees our 10 year old about 3 times a year...he got him one weekend during spring break, 2 weeks this summer, and will likely get him for a weekend around the holidays...this is my ex's choice, as i allow him to come get my son whenever he wants. my son is more than happy with only rarely seeing his father though because his stepmother is the devil and my ex always sides with her even when she is being mean to my son. i think how much visitation is enough really depends on the relationship between the father and should be however much the kids want (within reason of course).

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 2:19 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • I think that is appropriate for that age.

    Answer by bjane01 at 3:12 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • yeah i think that is great if you both agreed in how the situation is going to work

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 11:47 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

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