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My 15 almost16 year old daughter just told she thinks she is gay?

one night i was lying in bed and we started talking and she said that she found herself attracted to her best friend manny. i told her its nothing to be ashamed of and no matter wat her sexuality her family and i will always love her then she said she wants to tell her frien d but she doesnt want to be shunned for having these feelings if u have any advice please reply

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shynnjream

Asked by shynnjream at 6:26 PM on Oct. 7, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (9)
  • Honestly, I think that if she feels she needs to hide if from her friends, then they aren't friends really. I would recommend her talk to her friend and simply tell her that she may be attracted to girls and see how Manny takes that. If she seems to do well with that, to give her some time to adjust to it and then maybe broach the attraction. Perhaps she isn't really attracted to Manny but what Manny means to her. You know what I mean? I have gone through this, still am, and I have a lot of gay and lesbian friends, so if you want to PM feel free
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 6:34 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • I agree. She may just be attracted to who her friend is as a person. It may not be that she's really gay.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:22 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • I agree with both. I'd talk to her and see how long she's been having these feelings. It could be a phase. I remember having girl crushes as a teenager. But I'm not gay. Just let her know that you love and support her no matter what!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:13 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • You telling her not to be ashamed of who she is is all she needed to hear at that moment.
    Not all parents would be so supportive and I think that is wonderful of you to let her know that!
    As for advice, I'm sorry, I don't have any. But I do have a lot of gays friends and I know from them, they really wanted acceptance. Your daughter will work this out on her own. And I wish her the best of luck. And again, you're a wonderful mom for being there for her. And it's great that she can trust you. Her first step was telling you- now the hard part is over.
    BrendaMomOf3

    Answer by BrendaMomOf3 at 1:06 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Well she may not REALLY be gay. I remember thinking I had a crush on my bestfriend while in highschool. And I told her she said she thinks she may be gay too lol! So we "experimented" and realized we wern't gay. That our love for one another had just grown stronger because we had been through a lot together!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Please be there for your daughter and support her in any way you can. But I know from first hand experience. I am a lesbian. I had MANY, red flags go up , through out my life. And I simply ignored them. Fast forward a few years, I was married , had my oldest daughter, who is now 14. It wasn't until after we divorced. That I realized (when I was 30), that I truly was attracted to women. My wife and I have been married for 5 years, we have 3 beautiful children together. All of our children are happy and well adjusted. I know that this is most likely a great shock to you. I shared my story with you, so that you would have some insight into what her life may have been like, if she were not honest with herself and you. And she may also, just be going through a hormonal phase, or might in fact be attracted to both. Good luck to you both !!  If  you want to talk, I am here,  pm me if you have any questions. Andrea
    mysoycandles

    Answer by mysoycandles at 8:54 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I realized at 15 that I was attracted to women. My family told me that I was going to go to hell. So, you I admire you for loving her no matter what. She needs to figure things out for herself, and she needs you to stand by her 100% of the way. Although I grew up to marry an amazing man, I am still Bi, and I don't anything will ever change that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:51 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • My 24 year old daughter told us she was gay as a teen. I told her it doesnt matter to me if she is gay or not...Guess what???She's married to a MAN and has a daughter and another on the way..What I'm getting at is ,,she might be then she might not be,,But don't say that to her,
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:02 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Ok, Imma say this. I'm not saying she isn't gay, but alot of girls at that age, sometime go through experimental stage or like other ladies sd, there love for there friend grew and caused some feelings, which might not actually mean they are sexually attracted, but they are confused, because they are at that age. Discuss with your daughter, that she needs to give herself time to really explore if those are geniune sexual feelings, because at her age, her hormones are out of wack and because there is so much love for the friend she MIGHT be experiencing just outright love of a person. I've know PLENTY of girls who were gay (or thought) in high school, then realized they like men, and are married with children. Dont make her feel her feelings are wrong, but let her know what might be happeneing and make sure she talks with her friend and figure out if her feelings are sexual.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:51 AM on Oct. 9, 2008

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