Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

what would you do in my situation?

the short version is, i want another baby. im going over the pros and cons of my situation and it leaves me feeling more confused than i was before. im just gonna lay it all out as it comes into my mind...

so please, read what i have to say and tell me what you would do if it were YOU IN MY SITUATION.

I live in my parents home.

my mother is disabled. so im here to help with bills and other things around the house. my parents are on board with mine and my husbands want for another child. they support us fully (as in our decision, not monetarily, we support ourselves in that sense)

living in this home, as you could imagine, puts alot of stress on *my* little family (dh, myself and our son). we are unsure of when we will be able to depart from this home. (cont below)

Answer Question

Asked by ToriBabe1221 at 5:05 PM on Aug. 17, 2010 in Trying to Conceive

Level 17 (3,866 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • i do know that we will be here at least until june of next year, as my parents want my youngest sister to finish out elementary school here.

    i had a csection with my son. so i want to attempt a vbac with my next child. in my current area, i have 3 hospital choices, which means alot of dr choices as well. if we move, im unsure where we would be moving to, all i do know is we do not wish to stay in this area much longer than we have to. so i have to think of the hospital situation when deciding to conceive again or not.

    i had a miscarriage in january 09. i tried for 18 months to try after wards, but we were unsuccessful. so we decided to take a break, while i joined a gym to get a bit healthier.

    part of the reason i think we were unsuccessful, is because i was still nursing my son up until march, and May was the month that the depo was out of my system completely for 2 years.


    Comment by ToriBabe1221 (original poster) at 5:08 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • my son is 3 1/2 already.. and part of what is weighing on me is i want a sibling close in age for him. because of his birthday, if i were to concieve by the end of this year, he would have a whole year home with me and the baby before he has to start school. which i kinda think would be better than sending him off to school and then bringing a new baby home. im afraid that will cause ALOT of jealousy issues and other issues for him. so i kinda think having a baby NOW would make the transition easier on him.

    i currently have a gym membership, and about 50 more lbs to lose before i am back to my prepregnancy weigh with my son. part of me wants to continue working out and losing weight before i get pregnant again for the best shot at a healthy pregnany and vbac, but the other part of me says screw being healthy, ill just continue going to the gym during pregnancy, and that should help with my goals.


    Comment by ToriBabe1221 (original poster) at 5:09 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • part of me feels like the obvious answer is GO FOR IT. but another part of me feels like.. im too unsure of the future to take that step.

    based on what i have shared here, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?? would you postpone adding to your family because of living situations? or if all parties are on board, would you say screw the rest of it and do what makes you happy?

    im sorry if this doesnt make alot of sense. .... thanks for any help...

    Comment by ToriBabe1221 (original poster) at 5:09 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • If you're young enough to wait until you move, I would wait until you move. You said your living situation puts stress on your family. Having a newborn in the house in and of itself is stressful. Remember all the raging hormones, healing time and sleepless nights? Moving with a newborn would be stress as well. Also, if you wait until after you move, you can continue to work out. Being a healthy weight will help you concieve more easily and make it easier to have the VBAC.

    Answer by HotMama330 at 5:19 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • thank you for your reply.

    that is one point i brought up to my mother. i feel pregnancy and a newborn would add to the stress. *she* thinks it would be less stressful on me here, than if i were on my own because i would have "support" with everything.
    i know she also doesnt want me to move out, she doesnt want to let go.
    and i have no idea when we will be able to move, as my parents depend on us financially until she is approved for disability (even with this added "burden" on us, we could still afford another baby)

    we lived with them when my son was born as well, and did the whole moving with a newborn, so im really not afraid of all that because its "been there done that" ya know?

    it seems, no matter which pros and cons i come up with i simply cannot make up my mind for what would be best!

    my mom says that i only have one life to live, and that i should not let her, nor my living situation stop me.

    Comment by ToriBabe1221 (original poster) at 5:23 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • I would pray to God to show me a sign that the time is now and wait for that sign.

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 10:18 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.