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what can i do. my exhusband remarried and the two of them are trying their darndest to get my kids to hate me and leave my home to live with them and say bad things to me and about me. adult content

I have done all I can to shelter my kids from knowing the violence that was present in my past marriage. my exhusband is telling my kids things that are not true and very outrageous. my son has decided to believe everything and calls his step mother mom and calls me by my first name. my daughter is visiting (visitation) and has been allowed by their household to speak to me rudely and demanded to be left with them. Not sure if there is any hope at getting through this. the kids are 15 and 16 so not sure if I should just let them go and hope that they find the truth in their adulthood. I have always tried to stay away from conflict with my exhusband because he was always very violent with me and I prefer not to be involved in a situation that could possibly cause physical harm as well as the mental harm he is already causing.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:07 PM on Aug. 17, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (13)
  • Counseling, toot sweet.
    annabellelee

    Answer by annabellelee at 9:07 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • Been there, done that. Get some good counseling and no matter what, love your children and never, ever speak badly about their dad or his new wife.

    Joeygoat

    Answer by Joeygoat at 9:10 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • I have asked my ex to take my son to counseling and they went one time and he refused to take my son again. My ex and son live in Ca as I live in Mi with my daughter. I have had my daughter speaking to her school counselor and was doing well until she visited her father.
    katholley

    Answer by katholley at 9:10 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • They will have to figure it out for themselves. And I would let them. You may just have to wait around to pick up the broken pieces.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:10 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • I agree, I think counseling would do you a world of good. They can help you find ways to talk to your kids about what's going on and will give you someone to talk to that will help you get out all of the feelings you've had since this abusive relationship. And don't give up on your kids. They are old enough to hear the truth, but be careful what you tell them and when. The counselor will help you decide when that can happen. Good luck.
    kathria

    Answer by kathria at 9:12 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • You can get the court to order counseling.
    annabellelee

    Answer by annabellelee at 9:12 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • Counseling would be a definite for everyone involved. In the mean time, make your two kids go to counseling with you.
    Glamourina

    Answer by Glamourina at 9:14 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • If he was violent with you, it's very likely that at some point he will be violent with his new wife, when your kids see that they will figure things out. I'm sorry that you have to go through this
    Liz132

    Answer by Liz132 at 9:17 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • get family counseling for you and the kids. quick.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 9:34 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • Just do what you have always done for your kids you can tell your kids that no matter what they hear of you it is not true and that you will always love them and always be their birth mother. you seem and sound to be a very sweet and loving mother so just pray about it and your kids will soon realize who is in the wrong God Bless You and be strong and have patience all will turn out fine. GL
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 10:24 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

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