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Dear Lord please help me to not screw this child up

That was what I was thinking as I sat rocking my daughter, tears pouring from my eyes. Today is her 3rd birthday, but we're having her party this Saturday. We spent this day spoiling her and trying to make her feel extra special. I bought her some new Dora undies today and she was so excited to put a pair on when we got home. We were going to go to the play area at the mall later. Then for some reason she decided to pee on her bedroom floor, in her new undies, deliberatly. Then she lied and said she didn't. I got really upset, took the package of remaining undies away and put a diaper on her (which she usually only wears to bed). I told her to stay in her room until I say she can come out, and that we're not going to the mall either. She looked hurt and then I got really upset at myself for blowing up like that, especially on her birthday. I rocked her and told her I'm sorry if I hurt her feelings. I'm still upset at myself.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:22 PM on Aug. 17, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • As I read your message, I saw a mom who loves her little girl. You thought ahead to make the day special. You want only good for your daughter, that's plain to see. Next time something like this happens, try to remain calm, watch that you don't over react. After she gets cleaned up, use that as the time to instruct. When you do need to correct her, remain calm, kind, and firm. Never with anger. I have found this scripture in James 3:18 to be insightful: Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. So the way our children will be able and willing to hear is when there is peace. I hope this helps.

    Grammy777

    Answer by Grammy777 at 8:44 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Take a deep breathe and forgive yourself. I promise your dd already has forgiven you. It is hard not to get upset over stuff like that. I try hard to be calm, but I have lost it many times too.

    You will not and you have not "screwed" up as a parent, you are just human and had reached a breaking point.
    Maureen-MD

    Answer by Maureen-MD at 9:26 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • we ALL go through a moment like this! if you say you dont you kid is either too young or your a liar!! lol!! prob wont be the last time you feel like this, just try to remember and learn from it!!
    rileymommy

    Answer by rileymommy at 9:26 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • it's okay. just remember you are the parent, and just because it's her birthday it doesn't mean she can get away with not going with teh family rules. it doesn't mean you love her any less, it means you love her enough to punish her-even on her birthday. kids notice when you aren't consistant, even if it's just for a day, it sends a mixed message. you did the right thing. take a deep breathe, relax, and know that you aren't screwing up your child, you are keeping her on the right path.
    candle5

    Answer by candle5 at 9:30 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • Hugs.
    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 9:23 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • You're a parent, you're bound to feel guilty. Don't worry, you're a good mom :)
    pipermomofash

    Answer by pipermomofash at 9:26 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • oh hon we have all been there! and if you haven't been there yet u will eventually... parenting is HARD sometimes and you do feel bad about the things you say/do especially when u SEE the hurt look on their faces. But in the long run she will remember all the good times and the fun stuff much more then the bad times, YOU may remember them but that's a good thing cause it will just help u grow and become a better parent :) (((((HUGS))))) to you momma and Happy Birthday to your Little One!!
    DreainCO

    Answer by DreainCO at 9:27 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • It's ok. I think we all have been through this at some point.
    Iluvmy5

    Answer by Iluvmy5 at 12:40 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Dont be sorry, you did the right thing. She deliberatly did this and needs to know its not ok even if its on her birthday. If not how is she going to learn? IMHO I thnk you were wrong to apologise though. Kids need tough love sometimes. Correcting them and then saying your sorry sends a mixed message.
    Jwick

    Answer by Jwick at 4:54 PM on Aug. 18, 2010