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3 Bumps

Transitioning from family of three to four

Me and my DH are getting our daughter back tomorrow. She was at her bio dad's, because we just had a baby, and needed a little time. I'm really nervous for her to get back! I have these feelings of being scared that she'll feel left out, and that things will change between us. I really don't want that to happen! i'm just having all of these feelings. Is transitioning usually this hard, or am I just being scared?

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Amber211

Asked by Amber211 at 9:49 PM on Aug. 17, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 12 (884 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I was really worried, but it went a lot easier than I thought it would. DH & I made it a point to keep our son on his normal routine as much as possible, and DH gave him a lot of one on one time. We also really engaged our son with helping out with the baby. Other than a couple of days of him "showing off," it wasn't that bad. Now 6 months later, I've almost forgotten what it's like being a family of 3. :) Good luck, everyone will do fine!
    Journey311

    Answer by Journey311 at 9:53 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • it can be hard, but once she realizes that you love her just as much and still need/want her and the baby isn't going anywhere it will get easier. just dont expect too much. she may want nothing to do with the baby, that can be normal. she may want to be really helpfullet her do little things. like throwing diapers away, or shaking up bottles for the baby if you are formula feeding, anything to help but nothing too much that she won't be able to handle. best of luck!
    candle5

    Answer by candle5 at 9:54 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • how long was she gone?
    r00j04j08

    Answer by r00j04j08 at 9:59 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • I had the same fear with my step children when we had our son but they fell in love with him just as fast as we did and can't wait to spend time with us! They love to help out with the little things too. Especially feeding him and holding him when he is fussy. I'm sure the same will happen for you!
    Tanya530

    Answer by Tanya530 at 10:01 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • Part of it will depend on her age. That effects how well she can understand. Depending on how old she is you can explain that babies take a lot of work and time, but you can offer ways she can help if she'd like. She can do things like grabbing blankets, little kids are great about being able to retrieve things that fall behind the crib (like binkies and toys), bring clean diapers, and more. If she doesn't want to help that should be OK too. I think the most important part is trying to still find one on one time, either while the baby naps or set up a weekly thing so hubby keeps the baby and you and your daughter do something together. Just give her a chance to occasionally have your full attention too so that way it won't feel like she once had all your attention and no only the baby gets full attention and she always has to share your attention.
    bobthepepperma

    Answer by bobthepepperma at 10:08 PM on Aug. 17, 2010

  • She is two years old. And she was gone for a week. Thank you so much, ladies!
    Amber211

    Comment by Amber211 (original poster) at 12:11 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

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