Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

Just rambling, but I could use some advice from Wiccans, Pagans, etc...

Posting anonymously 'cause I have real-life friends on here who just wouldn't understand...
I've recently found the Wiccan path. I've collected books on the subject for decades, moved 5 times, put them out on my bookshelves, but never read them. Last year, during a rough patch, I started to read them. I felt like... Well, there're no words to decribe it. For those of you ON the path, I guess you know.
I took about a month to tell my hubby. He's not really religious, but was raised Christian. He teased me a little ("Can I tell people I'm married to a witch? haha") but then he saw how serious I was & he backed off. "I'll never participate, but okay."
Now my daughter is interested. I want her to find her own path, so I've given her a few of my books to read, to decide for sure. Issue? I don't want her to get the same disappointed vibe off of hubby that *I* feel. AND I don't want him thinking I "converted" her. Any advice?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:54 AM on Aug. 18, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (11)
  • My husband feels the same way, only he married me knowing. He isn't thrilled when John askes whats around my neck, or asks if he can wear one (hes only five too, soo I can kind of understand.) Hubby & I made the agreement we werent going to raise John either way. When he was old enough to understand BOTH, he can make his own choice.

    Your daughter needs to follow her own path. Let her figure out what she wants. (how old btw) & go from there. Let your hubby know shes reading the book. Then let him talk to her about Christ & everything else to be fair.......

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 1:59 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • I haven't a clue about this, but here is a bump. GL!

    Answer by Glamourina at 2:01 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • I think what your doing is fine, children need to be able to explore all the paths and be exposed to all those that are important to their family. My family is similar to yours, my husband is christian but understanding and even admits that some of the things we do are pagan and he has made peace with it. At one time he was very against it until i explained my thinking and was open with him about my thoughts and beliefs and practices, now he is very good about it and even agrees with some of my ways :)

    I recently bought a book for my daughter for when she is ready to explore (she is only 6 right now) but i saw it and loved how it was laid out heres a link for it I found my copy at borders books for less than $5

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 2:01 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • I am not pagan but I hope you find the answers you are seeking. GL

    Answer by crazymom21 at 2:04 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Ask your husband if he wants your daughter to go thru life feeling like there's something missing from her life. Whatever words you use to describe your spirituality its all essentially the same thing @ the root. Man & prophets are what make religion, not the big unknown in the place we can't figure out what to call it. Your hubby needs to understand that comments can be devastating to kids so he needs to be very careful what he says to your dd. It would be a shame if bc of his comments she feels unconnected to the spiritual side of herself. There's a group here, Pagan & Proud that has some great mommas that will have lots more help for you, if your not already a member. You can control who sees your groups, when you join change who can see this group to no one & none of your RL friends will ever have to know!

    Answer by Nyx7 at 9:12 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • You have some good answers. I DO understand exactly the feeling of peace and...well, recognition that the study of wicca can bring. When you read it you know, at long last, what you really are. The search for the answer has been found. Ask D.H. kindly to not pass judgement on your daughter's decisions. Smile. Be sweet and upbeat. These decisions may--or may not--be final. She has to have different choices presented to her in order to know. And children often change their minds from year to year--or day to day, LOL. But, ultimately, she should know what you believe. Whatever questions she has over time, try to help her find an answer to them. She'll be fine.

    Answer by witchqueen at 1:06 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • talk to him and let him know she is interested and you want to share with her. ask if he is concerned about anything and address his concerns by being honest about what you intend to share. respect his boundaries with it. there are some good books for working with children - i have a couple... and i also have a "teen spell diary" (something like that...) i got for my daughter that is not so focused on spells but on helping them recognize areas of intent and self-esteem and how to work with that - IMO the best intro is understanding non-manipulation and the power of thought, but i guess it depends on your tradition. my daughter is grown and out of the house - i'll be happy to mail you a couple books like the spell diary if you pay cost of shipping (i'd pay but we're broke) - media mail is super cheap. PM me and i can tell you what i have and how much it would be - surely less than $5

    Answer by figaro8895 at 1:32 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Interfaith households are never easy to navigate, basically because there are always at least minor beliefs and teachings which clash and because one parent is always left out at any one time when it comes to religious teaching or guidance - even if you are both doing it. How old is your daughter? I think that will have a great importance on how to treat this issue. If she is young (say under 10) I would suggest doing your best to introduce her to a number of paths, without really teaching any one... This way she really can make a choice to follow the path which is right for her. IF she's older (pre-teen plus) I would say, simply do your best to guide her to do the best things for her and answer any questions she has... I would also involve your husband when it comes to questions, let him understand that this is her choice, but that it's important that she is making one without being pushed...

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 1:33 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • I would honestly, also ask your husband if he would be willing to do a little reading as well. It may help you all for him to understand what your beliefs are and what she is learning as well. People tend to have misunderstanding and misconceptions about Wicca, Witchcraft and Paganism, and a small amount of reading could go miles in creating a peaceful home...

    I'm a fan of the Idiots & Dummies books about the subject, they are great for family & friends who may not understand your choices.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 1:36 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • She came to you. She asked you. It's like going to the store vs. them knocking on your door.

    How old is your girl?

    Answer by MamaK88 at 5:33 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.