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Hesitant Husband

My husband said he was all for adoption, but is now resisting it... Any advice on what to do?

 
TRI-MOM327

Asked by TRI-MOM327 at 9:37 PM on Oct. 7, 2008 in Adoption

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Answers (6)
  • Hubbies always resist! LOL At least most of them do! I know so many moms that say this same thing, even regarding giving birth. My hubby was the same way! Come on over to Adoption Beauty Marked! We'd love to offer support while you work on him! ; )
    joy2bamom

    Answer by joy2bamom at 10:31 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • keep trying to talk with him and let him know how much you would like a baby with him even if the baby didn't come from the both of you every body needs a chance to be a loving parent
    carole706

    Answer by carole706 at 9:53 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • If he is resistant have an open discussion with him as to why. Adoption brings on so many issues you will likely face, and the child you adopt will face, so make sure you make the decision to adopt with wide open arms from both of you. Otherwise, the child could be the one who feels the resistance and lack of acceptance the most. Always but a child's future above your desires.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:46 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • It is unfair to a child to have a parent who was "talked into" parenting.....whether it is adoption or by birth. Although it might work out fine sometimes, I know that it doesn't always. I strongly disagree that husbands generally resist parenting.

    However, if he was for adoption in the beginning and has now changed his mind, it makes sense to find out why the change of heart. Maybe he has compelling reasons; maybe not.
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 1:42 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I was in the same situtaion not to long ago. We already have two adopted daughters, and were offered another baby through foster care. I was so excited and ready for another one, but DH was not. It was a war between us for days..me trying to pressure him into taking the baby even though I knew he wasn't ready for another one yet. Thankfully I realized I was not ready yet either (our daughters are both going through the terrible twos LOL!). I also realized that if he is not ready, then it is not the time. You BOTH need to be ready when you have a child, but I think more so when you are adopting. It's an emotional roller coaster and you need each other to get through it. Take time and find out WHY he has changed his mind. My DH knew when we met that we would have adopt, but some men find it threatening to there 'manhood' that they cannot have a child of there 'own'.
    LizClara

    Answer by LizClara at 2:44 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Mine wasn't sure about adoption at first. I just told him to pray about it please and he agreed to do that. I knew that God had put it on my heart and it was just a matter of him opening his heart to hear that call. He came back to me very soon and said "Ok you were right, we need to adopt". We now have one bio child, 8 adopted, and 2 on the way to adopt before Christmas. God is good!
    mommy9

    Answer by mommy9 at 12:44 PM on Oct. 8, 2008