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How to come to an agreement with your SO when...

You both feel so strongly about your views??

He wants to spank and I do not!

 
Mrs.Robey_4ever

Asked by Mrs.Robey_4ever at 10:43 AM on Aug. 18, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 10 (377 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Is your DH the type to be convinced by 'expert' opinions? It kind of drives me nuts that my husband puts more faith in the opinions of a PhD he doesn't even know than he does in my research & intuition, but it can work to my advantage in that if I can print off some good reputable studies that agree with my POV then he's more likely to bend. I would try arming myself with the research that shows why not to spank, as well as coming up with alternatives to spankings in discipline.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 10:50 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • this is a hard one...whether you spank or don't spank the person usually has strong views with their choice. Its both your kids so you guys really need some agreement here.
    hill2

    Answer by hill2 at 10:45 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Come up w/ other forms of discipine & present them to your SO. Everything has to be a compromise & communicated or you'll end up having big issues between you. Is it both of your child? If he's not the father then I say he has no right to spank your child.
    JacqulynClayton

    Answer by JacqulynClayton at 10:49 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Yes, he is the father. Our son is almost 8 months old. I just don't agree with spanking for many different reasons. One main one is because I was abused badly all the way through growing up and my second main reason is because I feel you as the parent are supposed to guide and teach your children and I just personally don't feel spanking is an effective punishment.
    Mrs.Robey_4ever

    Comment by Mrs.Robey_4ever (original poster) at 10:51 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Comminucation is going to be the biggest key in this type of situation. You both will have to sit down, realize you have opposing views, and see what a good compromise would be for the both of you. Compromise does not always mean you will both be completely satisfied, that's why it's called compromise, lol. But if the child is both of yours, I'm sure you will both be able to come to an agreement that will be best for him/her. Good luck
    1st_time_mom23

    Answer by 1st_time_mom23 at 10:51 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • One thing that might help you is to attend a parenting class together. My husband and I attended a Love & Logic parenting class, and we were both convinced that giving that technique a try was a good idea. Taking the class together really helped us get on the same page about discipline, and we both feel good about how things are going with our children. The class gave us lots of suggestions for handling all different types of situations with toddlers through teens, and we feel like we are prepared for just about anything that might come up.  It really feels like we are a parenting team now and we're using the same playbook.

    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 11:37 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Just wanted to add that for us on the big issues, just being able and willing to come back to the table as many times as it takes until we can compromise is key! Usually once we can get into the real meat of WHY we feel the way that we do, we can come to an agreement that will address the underlying concerns we both have.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 11:53 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

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