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how many ways can you tell a person "no" before you get ugly????

I pay 35 dollars a wk to put my son in the ASP just in case i can't pick him up in the carline in time. Well my granny found out i was paying this and she offered to pick him up...and me pay her instead because she needs the money. She has applied for disability and can't work. While i feel sorry for her (because my uncle, who is also disabled, has been supporting her) i really don't want to pay her because i feel that she is just not responsible enough to pick my son up on time in the carline. I don't want dfcs called on me if she doesnt show because she couldnt wake up from a nap or she was late from a drs appt. Also...she "really needs the money" but yet they spend money on stupid shit. They buy cigerettes, lotto tickets..to me these things you can live without! My dh thinks she is trying to move in on us. She is already bringing over loads of laundry, etc.. i know this is my grandma..but..

 
shay1130

Asked by shay1130 at 11:03 AM on Aug. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 27 (32,809 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • stick to your guns. do what you want when you want the way you want. people of all ages and relationships are capable of being users. sucks when it's your grandma, but sounds like your eyes are open. your family responsibilities come first to your child.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 11:31 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • how can we raise a family when she is wanting to try to be a one of the children? Its like she is wanting us to care for her. i just can't do it. I don't know how many times i've told her no. I don't know how to be nice about it.
    shay1130

    Comment by shay1130 (original poster) at 11:04 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • can you pay her to cook or clean for you? maybe then she could get the money she wants?
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 11:05 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • she also mentioned this...she said..."i can pick jathan up and clean your house till you get home for the 35 a wk" i think its her way of trying to get to be in our home more. I think she is tired of asking help from her brother..or either he is tired of helping her and she is trying to come over here. She must think we have all this extra money and we don't. I love my granny but we can't afford to help her habits
    shay1130

    Comment by shay1130 (original poster) at 11:09 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • if i was to give her 35 a wk...20 of it would be in gas for picking up my child...i know 15 wouldnt support her cig and lotto habit..she would only be asking me for more money which i don't have
    shay1130

    Comment by shay1130 (original poster) at 11:11 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • or it would be..."can i just spend the night at your house tonight"..or "why don't i just stay with you guys" i can hear it now.
    shay1130

    Comment by shay1130 (original poster) at 11:12 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • could you just give her 35 a week? like a gift? if it is affordable, it might be the easiest thing to do.
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 11:13 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • to support someones bad habits? no way. i'd rather buy myself lotto tickets. I would much rather her work for it since she wants to blow it the way she does...if she really really needed it for something i wouldnt mind helping one bit. The main reasons though we don't want her working for it is because we know it will lead to her wanting to move in and mooch and ask for more.
    shay1130

    Comment by shay1130 (original poster) at 11:21 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • I would say that you're no longer paying for the pick-up service for your Son because money is tighter now than you thought. Ask her for $ and see what she says. Meanwhile, look in the newspaper for a part time job for her. She could work a register at a small store and it would be good for her. Maybe she could work at a senior Citizens center giving them rides to Doctor appointments and charge them a small fee for the ride. I know a lot of Seniors here don't drive & have a hard time getting rides around. Maybe she can work as a helper to another Senior at their home like cooking small meals & cleaning. Do your research then drop it all in her lap. You have enough to worry about taking care of your family in this economy. If she is healthy then she should be out & about. Check your local hospitals too, they need receptionists at the front desk to tell people where a family member is located in the Hospital. GL
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 11:31 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Her excuse is she can only work "under the table" so she can get disability benefits.
    shay1130

    Comment by shay1130 (original poster) at 11:33 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

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