Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

How do you tell your kids?

About Grandma who has heath Issues and that could be killing her.
That is why Bobby Was gone all day yesterday.
She is sicker that Ever.
She has Diabetis, Arthritis, and Heart Problems.
We allways try and cover this up so the younger ones dont find out.
Now I think it is almost time we tell them.
This is why he is allways gone and I never knew how bad things were till he came home yesterday.
She has had 3 heart attacks just this year.
This year could be the year she passes.
Just don't know what to do?
But I am sure you folks do!!!

 
newathis918

Asked by newathis918 at 11:33 AM on Aug. 18, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 17 (4,224 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Depends on how old your kids are. My son is 11 and my step dad has stage 4 cancer. We explained to him that my stepdad is very sick and has cancer. We try and be as open and honest with him as possible. On the other hand my daughter is 14 months so we dont tell her anything. I am sure there are some good books about death / dying on amazon.com or at your local library. Sorry about your grandma..But I think you need to be honest with your kids. Let them know she is sick and wont be around for ever.
    navyjen

    Answer by navyjen at 11:37 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • I would just start talking about the general cycle of life, avoid things like "going to sleep" and "too sick to make better" because those can instill fear in kids
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 11:37 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Depends on their ages, but basically you start with an explanation about how everything is born, lives a life, and dies. Give a brief and simplistic over view of your religious views on what happens when someone dies so that your children can understand that it's just another phase, not an end (unless of course you think we just stop being when we die) then explain that gma's lived a long and wonderful life and that her body is preparing her for this transition. Explain a little about her sickness and how she feels and how when she dies she won't have that pain anymore. Let them know it's ok to feel sad but that it's important to enjoy the time we still have with her and to let her know how much we love her. *hugs* This is a hard situation, I'm glad you're reaching out for help and support.
    Cassarah

    Answer by Cassarah at 11:43 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Start with Grandma is very sick with kids too much is sometimes blahhhh, blaaaahhhh, blaaaahhhh and you don't want to scare them....

    So be honest, with the youngest too, I didn' t find out about grandma until she died. Kids have a right too know just make it short...
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 11:37 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Don't hide it. Tell them that Grandma has health problems. The worst that you can do is hide things like that from your children.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 11:37 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Just tell them the reason that Bobby has been gone a lot is because Grandma is very sick and he is trying to help take care of her. I wouldn't bring up death unless it's something you feel comfortable with or unless she actually passes away. Take little steps in explaining. If they ask questions, answer the questions as simply as possible so that they can understand.
    They probably won't understand things like diabetes and arthritis, so I wouldn't even bring up things that are that specific.
    Good Luck.
    NOLAmommaKRYS

    Answer by NOLAmommaKRYS at 11:39 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • The best thing you can do is to be honest and open about it. Hiding stuff from them is worse. My MIL had cancer and was dying. The kids were all kept in touch with all that was going on. They were allowed to be in her room. Of course, she chose to die at home. So, she took each of the kids in the room by themselves and explained it do them the way she felt each could understand. It was, of course, heartbreaking, but kids do understand alot more than we give them credit for.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 11:41 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • I would tell them Grandma is very sick. That might be enough for younger children. Older children might ask for more details. Try to answer the older children's questions, but don't give more detail than they ask for.
    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 11:42 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • The kids should have always known. They need to know everything so they are prepared.


    I have a life-threatening disease. I was diagnosed right after the birth of my 3rd child. My 2nd husband filed for divorce never to be seen again. My children were diagnosed with the same disease and it has about a 50/50 20 year survival rate for kids, less for adult onset (me). My children are now 30, 27, and 22. They have always known I could become very ill very quickly and die.


    Instead their (the 2 oldest) step-mother died unexpectedly. My preparing them for the death of a family member really helped. They were very close to her. She couldn't have kids and treated them very well. It could have been devastating.  

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 11:45 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • My mom is dealing with Kidney failure. She found out a year after my DD was born and my kids have known about it from day 1. We never knew what would happen and I didn't want them to be "surprised" if the worst happened. They know that she is fighting to live and they also know that without a kidney transplant she won't survive past 5-10 years. My kids are 8,7 & 5.

    I think your children should know what's going on.......maybe not in details but they should at least know that she's sick.
    colethky

    Answer by colethky at 11:45 AM on Aug. 18, 2010

Next question in General Parenting
Away from DD

Next question overall (Food & Drink)
school lunches need ideas

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN