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How do I talk to my 9 year old daughter about sex? How should I approach her?

My daughter's dad's step mom had found a letter in my daughter's bag a few months ago and found a letter between my daughter and her friend. My daughter asks her friend, " do you want to have sex?" and her friend replies, "no" and my daughter asks "why not?"

What do I do? She's only 9 and how did she even know anything about sex?

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Asked by lil-mama-vegas at 1:33 PM on Aug. 18, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 4 (34 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I would bring up the letter and ask her what she knows about sex. Go from there.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 1:34 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Maybe have a girls night and slyly bring the letter up

    Answer by NicholeAT at 1:35 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • I always talked to my kids about sex. The younger ones probably knew way more than kids their age because they heard me talking to the oldest. When they were young I was in grad school and my major was health science. I was always taking them to  things on campus and to conferences where there would displays about things that had to do with sex. For electives I took enough classes to be a sex therapist and text books were always around the house.

    It turned out ok. I had 3 boys and they are now 30, 27, and 22. Only 1 grandchild and he was married a couple of years first. Since I like grandchildren maybe they know too much about birth control:)


    Answer by Gailll at 1:46 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • There are books that are great ice breakers. My daughter and I saw some at the library last year (she is about to be 9 in October) and we looked a little....she asked to wait, so I said OK..probably get one this year to read together. We already discussed a little


    Answer by sweet-a-kins at 2:00 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Kids talk and things like that., or if she has any half sibs and things. Just tell you want to talk and start. I always just answered my kids questions and really had full on talk with my oldest at 8, and have been doing the same with my 9yr son (waited the last year for hubby to talk). I an doing the same with our 6yr and at 8 will have a bigger talk with her.

    Answer by momto3infl at 2:21 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

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