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Am I in the wrong to be unattracted to him?

Ok short story ... SO has no ambition. He sees no problem with living with my parents instead of getting a place of our own. He sees no point in getting a fulltime job with benefits for his kids. He is ok with the medioker and I cannot be attracted to someone like that anymore. He is all about himself and what he likes to do and leaves me and the twins to watch him. Sorry this does not make me want to be physical with him when his greatest concern for his family is the next time the kids go down for a nap. He will take any excuse not to be around us durring his free time.
I am currently going to school and am trying to find a job so that I can prove him to be in the wrong .

Answer Question
 
twinmama2009

Asked by twinmama2009 at 2:42 PM on Aug. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,004 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Totally understandable
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 2:44 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • This is 100% why I left my ex (only we didn't have kids together; and he had a coke problem).
    Nope, you're not in the wrong at all - laziness isn't sexy.
    Kassey713

    Answer by Kassey713 at 2:44 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • You can't help who you are attracted to. I don't find laziness attractive either.
    ecagle

    Answer by ecagle at 2:46 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • why don't you just do what you need to do for yourself and grow in life because it's good for you and the right thing to do. do you think by "proving him wrong" he is going to change? i can't believe your parents allow this lazy bum to live off them and why do you continue to be in a "relationship" with someone you are not attracted to, do not respect, and refuses to do his part in the relationship in any way?
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 2:46 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • You absolutely are NOT in the wrong. Like Kassey713 said, laziness is not attractive at all. You deserve someone that is going to put as much effort into your relationship and your family as you are.
    bellaitaliapicz

    Answer by bellaitaliapicz at 2:47 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • It's understandable but your attitude and the way you are responding isn't helping. You are doing things to try and prove him wrong, not a positive or helpful attitude for improving a relationship. If you don't have sex with him and are disgusted with him of course he doesn't want to be around.


    You have at least 3 choices. You can go on as it is. You can kick him out and be a single mom. You can try and improve your relationship. That may take accepting him as he is for now. If you can do that and see the best in him he may do better. You may need counsling.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 2:50 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • First~ My parents don't like his laziness and say he is a completely different person than what he portrayed before the kiddos...


    Second~ it would be proving him wrong (and yes it would be primarily for me and my kids) he says we wouldn't be able to afford to move out or even pay my parents SOME rent. If I had a job and could move or pay my parents it would be proving him wrong


    Third~ we have tried... and he and I have had many "come to Jesus" talks about what needs to change... and it will get better for a while and then goes back to the same krud.

    twinmama2009

    Comment by twinmama2009 (original poster) at 2:57 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • I understand
    noahsmommy12908

    Answer by noahsmommy12908 at 4:47 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • yeah that is not right if he cared & loved you he would buy a place & get a job to help you out with the kids but you are doing the right thing in going to school & to better yourself but you deserve better then what he is treating you then you should get a place by yourself & move out so you dont have to deal with that good luck
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 5:34 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Alot of guys are like that. My husband was unambitious until we found out we were having the baby. He immediately joined the army and we got married and it was the best thing that ever happened. My husband tells me all the time how glad he is how things turned out.
    Sillybillymel

    Answer by Sillybillymel at 9:05 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

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