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5 Bumps

what would you do if your dude said he's getting snipped but you still want more kids?

I want at least 3 kids (maybe even 4). My boyfriend works with this other guy and the other guy just got snipped. Now he's saying after our next kid he wants to get snipped (that would make it after 2). We've been talking about marriage but this is becoming a serious issue with me and I'm really tired of him wanting to do

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pretend2fly

Asked by pretend2fly at 4:18 PM on Aug. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (34 Credits)
Answers (24)
  • Adopt or foster? If you really want two more biological children, then have a serious conversation with him. Kid debates can be deal breakers.

    GL!
    Glamourina

    Answer by Glamourina at 4:20 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • If both don't want more children, then that is a SEVERE issue between the couple. Someone is going to have to compromise. I would just wait it out and see how he feels after your next child.
    xxlilmomma09

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 4:20 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • If your not married, and you want more kids but he doesn't you need to sit down and discuss the future together.
    His body, his choice, and if its not one you can live with, leave and find someone who believe like you do.
    ToriBabe1221

    Answer by ToriBabe1221 at 4:20 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • TALK HIM OUT OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    noahsmommy12908

    Answer by noahsmommy12908 at 4:21 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Well the worst thing you can do is force him to have children he doesn't want. Put the shoe on the other foot. How would you feel. Since you aren't married, this could be the breaking point if that matters significantly to you. Can you support 5 kids? Now days that is pretty spendy and you both need good jobs to provide for a family that large. College is very expensive too. And it isn't fair to expect to be on assistance when it is a choice you are making. I think you need to evaluate your relationship with him, see if it is a good match and it is going to work. It is the responsible thing to do for your child(ren). Truly this sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:21 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • I would just ask him to wait a while and see if either of you change your mind. My MIL told DH to go get snipped and I told him, its a decision we need to make together. Right now, I'm not so sure I want another kid, but who says that once my son is off to school, I won't miss having a little one around? You have to come to some sort of compromise.
    JGRIMMER

    Answer by JGRIMMER at 4:23 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Well, if he didn't want more and I really loved him and I already had a child, I probably would reconsider my decision. If I really loved him then I guess the one child would be enough. I could be together with him and he would know I put him first in my life. That he is the most important thing to me. It is give and take in an adult relationship and since you aren't married, you need to decide you can respect his wishes or if you are hitting the road. I agree, don't force him. He will only feel resentment toward you.
    Lifes-A-Dance

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 4:24 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • It's not your decision to make, just like it isn't his if you wanted to be on BC, or have a tubal, or even an abortion.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 4:24 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Its his body, so its his choice. You need to decide if you can live with his decision or not.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:25 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • He can have sperm frozen just in case he changes his mind in the future, but that costs money. Other wise, tell him if you want kids later on you will just have to go and find a sperm doner & see how he feels about that. Oh, and tell him your girlfriend is jumping off a bridge so you're gonna try it too! See what he says about that since his co-worker is such a role model. Tell him not to be a follower, be a LEADER!!!!
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 4:25 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

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