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Will a relationship with an older person work out?

he is 35 and i am 19

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Asked by amw07 at 11:47 PM on Oct. 7, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (11)
  • My cousin married her husband when she was 19 and he was 34. They are still married today (7 years later) and very happy. Age doesn't necessarily matter, and don't let other people tell you otherwise. But if you're not ok with it, then no it's not going to work, because that's always going to be in the back of your mind. You need to be ok with it and he needs to be ok with it before it will work. Good luck!

    Answer by WadeMom313 at 11:50 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • um, you're not giving is enough to work with here. There's no age-related reason why it can't, but you're pushing the limits. If you go a lot farther you just won't have that much in common anymore.

    Answer by krnrobey at 11:50 PM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • My friends just got married. She is 42 and he is 24. They have been together for 2 years.

    I think it truly depends on the people. I myself am 6 years older than my husband and that sometimes presents a problem when we discuss things like history ("Oh, my gawd, hon! You were THERE??!!"), and music ("Baby, you gotta hear this song! Wait, you're singing it. Someone really did this in 1970?"). Age differences sometimes present challenges, but go with what you're heart feels.

    Answer by SkyeGirl at 12:08 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I used to think older men chose young impressionable aged teens so they could mold them into the woman they wanted (Stepford wife sort of thing). I don't think it's the actual number of years between you as the experience of life a person has lived. If you were my daughter I would question his intentions. Does he love you for who you are or because you are an impressionable teen he can make into the woman of his dreams? Only you can answer that one.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:16 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Along with what admckenzie says, look for stuff that he says that's not really...good. LIke, "women my age don't understand me..." or "women my age are all bitter bitches" Blanket statements like that about how "all women" of a certain type are a certain way is a red flag no matter what the certain type of woman is! It would, in this case, mean that he's only interested in young girls because the older ones tossed him back. It also means that as you get older, the age of the girls he finds attractive will get younger, you'lll be tossed over for the enxt 19 yr old who comes along.


    Answer by Avarah at 12:30 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Age isn't what makes a relationship work or not work. When a relationship goes sour, it is because there are fundamental differences that cannot be overcome. There was an 18 year difference between my aunt and uncle, and they were married for 50 years when he passed away. There was a 9 year difference between my grandparents and they were married for more than 75 years. It is an individualized situation, and no one can say your relationship with succeed or fail based on nothing more than your age. If you are compatible in the ways that matter, if you are fundamentally compatible and complimentary, then the age won't matter.

    Answer by jespeach at 1:58 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I heard they always end up treating you like your their kid and try to tell you what to do and boss you around...

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:38 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I love my DH very much. we married when I was 17 and he was 28 that was 17 years ago. My only complaint is that I am 34 and would like another baby. He points out that he will be 64 when this baby graduates high school. Therefore no more babies for me.

    Answer by mrssullivan at 6:38 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I am 10 yrs. older than my husband. We have been together now for 17 years. We are the Best of Friends and we communicate Great! I think that it depends on the maturity of the person. Because if you aren't as mature in your thinking it really can create problems. I have seen this in young women who have an older husband. So, I would just say it mostly depends on your maturity and how you carry yourself, and if you two are seriously in LOVE, remember ther is love, and there is lust. Sometimes when it comes to an older woman, or man, it can just be lust, to be with someone not their age.

    Answer by Freda01 at 7:56 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I agree with most people who have posted thus far....age shouldn't matter. The relationship will work if there is mutual respect for each others ideas, families, hopes and dreams, etc. One thing to keep in mind, though, is kids. Do you plan to start a family right away? How many kids do you plan to have, if so? Are you planning to travel before starting a family? Buy a house?
    One thing I have seen from experience with my own bros who married women older than they, is that the wife tends to be very possessive and she feels very threatened by the closeness he has with his own family. These things need to be addressed right off the bat.

    Answer by cuby at 9:12 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

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