Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Should I be upset that my ex's new girlfriend has already moved in and my baby is there 50% of the time?

Ok here's the deal. I haven't been with my ex since I was three months pregnant. He met a woman online when our baby was 21 days old. After two months of dating, they moved in together to play house :-) Anyway, of course I have a problem with this and think it's unmoral, however I have swallowed it. My 6 month old baby is over there about 50% of the time and of course the new girlfriend is there.

Here's my problem and PLEASE let me know if I am being unreasonable. I have asked the dad to be there at all times when he has our baby. I said I would be comfortable with his new girlfriend watching my child for no longer than two hours at a time if he has to go into work or has errands to run. I think this is being MORE than reasonable if you ask me. If it's longer than that, either don't take her or bring her to her mom.

Let me know what you think about this moms! Would love some feedback/opinions/advice :-)

Answer Question
 
justmeandbrooke

Asked by justmeandbrooke at 6:37 PM on Aug. 18, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 3 (26 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • I don't think that is in ANY way unreasonable. In fact, you can likely have it writ into a court order.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 6:39 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • You may be upset about it but not much you can do to change it- it sounds like your expectations are pretty reasonable considering how young the baby is. Hopefully you can get to know a little more about this woman and she will be someone you can trust with the baby- good luck!!
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 6:40 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • hmm... is she a responsible woman, is he a good dad? or are they 'playing house' as u put it? i don't think its totally unreasonable of you to ask him to be the one watching HIS daughter and if he's busy or can't to bring her back to you... if they are serious and may one day get married it'd be nice for your dd to get to know the GF as well though... idk, tough situation and if i were in your shoes i wouldn't even let him have dd as much as that :P
    DreainCO

    Answer by DreainCO at 6:41 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • I think you made a reasonable request, BUT did you make it because she is a stranger to you or some other reason? If it were someone he's know a long time and you're familiar with etc, I'd think you were overreacting. I also feel that the baby is there to be with her father and babies' relatives, and not some random person off the interwebs.
    silversmom

    Answer by silversmom at 6:42 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Yeah you may need to take it to court to make it stick, otherwise is he really going to respect your wishes and do that?
    DesertRose75

    Answer by DesertRose75 at 6:42 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • It sounds reasonable to me.  If I hadn't met the woman, I would have a huge problem with her being around my child alone for ANY ammount of time.


    However, I think that it would be best to rethink your issue of immorality.

    twin_mommy

    Answer by twin_mommy at 6:43 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • You don't know her, and you have the right to worry and be protective of your child. Don't ever question that, and continue being that way until you "REALLY" feel comfortable with it.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 6:44 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • I think it would be best to get to know her. It's a tough situation to handle but it will be a lot easier if you go with the flow so to speak. At least if you are friendly with her you can keep better tabs on what's happening with the little one.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 6:44 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Are you going to be alone for the rest of your life? Do you want to have to ask your ex's permission before you make life choices? When you get a babysitter is it someone that he knows? Are you treating your ex the way you want to be treated or are you jealous and it's not really about the baby?

    You need to put why it makes you upset into perspective before you over react
    littlestar85257

    Answer by littlestar85257 at 6:44 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Honestly, in visitation situations, the visitation is set for the Birth Parent, so his girlfriend has no right to be with your child.
    It will be different if he marries her because that will make her your childs Step Parent and if you get married it would be the same way, step parents do have rights but SO'S of Birth Parents have no rights. You are not being unreasonable at all.
    hsmominky

    Answer by hsmominky at 6:47 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN