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3 Bumps

daddy issues

Sometimes I see my daughter with my husband and they cuddle and joke around. She sits next to him so confident and sure of his love for her. I am quite jealous and almost cry because I wish I had a father like him. It all becomes too apparent to me that my insecurities I suffer come down to the relationship I didn't have with my father. I feel I'll be damaged in some way all my life. I hate to be the girl with daddy issues her whole life but how the hell do you get over it?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:45 PM on Aug. 18, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • You never get over it, you grow from it and understand that you're strong and alive even though you had issues. Life has ups and downs for everyone and you wouldn't be who you are today if those issues never existed.
    littlestar85257

    Answer by littlestar85257 at 6:49 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Well, it sure sounds like your husband is great guy, maybe being with him will be heplful in someway. I would try some counseling.
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 6:47 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • You can only let it all go. I have "Mommy" issues & I woke up one day & had enough. I think Im a better parent for it....
    lilmoosesmom

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 6:47 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Well, it sounds like you have a good man in your life now...so that is important. You can't change your childhood but you can have some control over the rest of your life.
    We can't pick our parents, we just play the hand were each dealt.
    I wish I had a better relationship with my father too. But...it is what it is. You just have to live your life in a way that you are happy today and try not to let bad memories from the past have so much effect on your life today.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 6:48 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • You should rejoice that your daughter is lucky enough to have what you didn't. Although you may not be able to reconnect w/ your dad, a good counselor can give you the tools to deal with your issues. Good luck!
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:49 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • I've had a very rough/h3ll of a life growing up and the way I look at it with my kids is as long as they're happy and aren't going through what I went through growing up then I'm extremely happy about it.

    My kids are living a much better life than I ever did and that's all that matters to me right now. Don't let all the negativity of your past get to you and be glad that your daughter has a wonderful father.
    DesertRose75

    Answer by DesertRose75 at 6:50 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Be happy your DD has what you didn't, and join in on that love you have for both of them. You just have to try and forget and be glad you have what you have now, and don't let it ruin the good part of what you have. Maybe you do need some counceling, or can just work it out yoursself. What ever way you go good luck, it's a shame how parents can screw up their kids by words and actions & many don't realize the final long term effect.
    MyAngel003

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 7:28 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • My father stopped calling/visiting/having contact with me when I was 12. Now, I don't even hate him- I just don't care. My life was no better when he was in it, if anything it was more difficult. Honestly, the only advice I have is forget about him- he wasn't there. There's nothing you can do about it now. Be thankful for what you did have, and what your daughter has. You're not damaged! Many people have been abandoned, left, or outright ostracized by a parent. You just have to conquer the emotion. If you can't do it on your own maybe seeing a therapist would help.
    Annabel1809Lee

    Answer by Annabel1809Lee at 7:50 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • counseling
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 8:43 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • You need to look in the mirror and realize you are a damn good mother, who though about what kind of father you wanted to give your children. Then realize how you made that decision because of your relationship with your father. Then see the amazing positive it created for your daughter.
    Casumael

    Answer by Casumael at 1:33 AM on Aug. 19, 2010

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