Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

If you are a Christian do you have trolls in your cafe group that constantly attack you. How do you handle it?

Answer Question

Asked by t_lawson at 9:32 PM on Aug. 18, 2010 in About CafeMom

Level 7 (180 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • You report it to the admins of the group.

    Answer by lovinangels at 9:34 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • i don't do groups.... there is always some kind of drama. it's easier to avoid it in the answers lol

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 9:34 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • I have been laying low in the groups. It seems there are some who like to instigate and I am just not into that bahavior. I am more of a "Friend"ly sort.

    Answer by countryspun at 9:39 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • I don't think anyone in my groups knows I am a Christian. Now the ladies on here do :) I spend a lot of my CM time here also. If I was being harassed though I'd just use it as an opportunity to witness :) no one has been openly mean to me though either.

    Answer by crazymom21 at 12:05 AM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • How to get rid of Flamers and Trolls - online article at

    Internet trolls or simply “trolls” or “flamers” are Internet slang for people who post often debatable, emotional, or simply off-topic messages in comments section of blogs, message boards, Internet Relay Chat (IRC), and even in email mailing lists. Their main objective is to bait a person or groups of people to respond violently by posting provocative or controversial messages. Flamers and trolls post hostile, insulting, or derogatory messages that in the end do not attempt to further explain, convince, or at least clarify the point or topic. Basically, flamers and trolls do not respect other people's opinions and believe that they are superior or hold authority over other people in a certain medium or Internet community.

    Answer by tasches at 5:19 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • Dealing with Flamers and Trolls Whether intentional or not, flamers and trolls bait other people to respond with their emotions, so that they can gain the upper hand in the so-called “discussion”. The best way to deal with such people is to take control of your emotions. Emotions can cloud judgment and reasoning, fanning the flames of an Internet flamer, and making the issue bigger. Getting Rid of Flamers and Trolls Flaming or trolling is just like getting into a discussion or fight with a friend or spouse where the person with the cooler head wins, or at least solves the problem. With an online counterpart, you want to pour water, cold water that is on the flame, not pour gasoline. If you encounter such offensive statements on your blog, favorite message board, or over a chatting service, here are some things you can do to get rid of them:

    Answer by tasches at 5:19 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • •Relax. Even if the attack is personal, try your best to keep your cool. Stop, breathe deeply and think clearly. Step away from your keyboard and wait a while, until you have calmed down and gathered your thoughts. •Be tolerant of criticism. That flamer or troll may not really want to be one --- he or she could just be ranting or something. Try your best to think that the person may not be flaming, but simply voicing his or her opinion. Try to get the point or ask further questions for clarification purposes. In the end, that person might not really be flaming, and you may learn something too.
    •Don't be arrogant or proud. Sometimes, even when you think you have a point, there are still some reasons why a person will want to flame your posts. There might be a valid reason. Be ready to apologize or at least take responsibility for your actions. Don't let your pride get in the way, since it will only prolong the flaming.

    Answer by tasches at 5:21 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • •Censorship can be bad. Filtering the flamer's post can further anger the flamer. Be reasonable when censoring. You don't have to delete a post of the person if he or she does not think your favorite rock band is good. You can probably censor only when there are vulgar or derogatory posts already. If you censor too much, it will just irritate or anger the person more.
    •Go with the flow. You don't have to argue with the flamer. Try to change the direction of the discussion by acknowledging the good points of the person by asking for more questions and explanations, and subtly telling your points. You might also want to inject a little humor to cool the head of that person. With your emotions in check, you can discuss things and come into an agreement or compromise sooner than expected.

    Answer by tasches at 5:22 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • •Grab a Foothold. Simply answer the post, making sure you don't show your emotions. Be a judge in a courtroom, not the yakking lawyer defending a client. By doing so, you gain the respect of others and possibly put the flamer to shame when everyone else agrees with you.
    •The Failsafe. If everything else fails, or if the flamer is too stubborn and persistent, just ignore him or her. It is just like covering a lit candle with a glass, cutting down the oxygen. Without any response to that troll's post, that person won't have anything to chew on. Eventually, the post will be forgotten.

    Answer by tasches at 5:23 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • In the End... The troll or flamer may steal the spotlight for a while, but in the end, it is all about you. If you really care about your credibility and reputation, don't stoop to the level of those people. By effectively managing and getting rid of flamers and trolls. you will be positively viewed by other people. It may not be easy at first, but once you get the hang of dealing with such people, you can easily shrug them off or even laugh at them. It surely won't be the last, and it is safe to say there will be more. Just remember to keep your head above water so you don't end up wasting your time.

    Answer by tasches at 5:23 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.