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parent confusion from other kids

My cousin and I are very close. She has a daughter who is 3, and is a single mom. Her daughter doesn't even see her dad. He's one of those "I'll just send money and you pretend I don't exist" Well, my husband is very close to our own kids, and he tries to treat my cousins daughter like he does our, cus he is heartbroken that any dad would just abandon their kid. Well, she called my hubby daddy, and when I tried to corect her, my cousin said, "well, she might as well, he's practically her dad." It really bothered me, because he isn't. He's the father of my children. What should I do? Am I just looking at this wrong?

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lizpiz

Asked by lizpiz at 10:55 PM on Aug. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (67 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I would feel the same way as you plus you dont want to confuse that little girl, its such a sad situation....
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 10:56 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • aww, thats sad.
    i dont think you need to correct her right now. shes only 3. she will figure out for herself so enough that she has no real dad.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:56 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Correct her. She doesn't understand the concept of a real dad yet and if she starts calling all men who are nice to her Dad then she will be confused.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:58 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Just because it is alright with cousin, doesn't mean she can call him that without talking it over with all involved. That impacts a lot pf peopel, including your kids.
    dancinintherain

    Answer by dancinintherain at 10:58 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • My sister used to joke that my husband was her son's Uncle Daddy. His dad is gone. It is sad that parents can just take off and not worry about their children.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 10:59 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Another thought, some single moms let every man that comes in the kids life play daddy. I don't agree with that. Your cousin needs to think about this seriously.
    dancinintherain

    Answer by dancinintherain at 11:00 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • lol dance, I am single and I have never even let the guys I date meet my kids. I dont think she should be calling him daddy either. That was nice of your cousin to offer, but daddy is too strong of a word. How bout uncle whatever,,,that seems more appropriate
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 11:05 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • It should be considered a compliment, and a good thing that the little girl has a positive male role model in her life- it makes a difference. I would correct her though! It's important that she knows he is NOT her father. My son calls my cousin Aunt Renee. If it would be alright with your husband, maybe Uncle So-and-So, or another name that makes him special to her. You should remind your cousin that he is not her father's child, but will always be there to support her. A positive male role model in a young woman's life is an important thing- if she gets to see how loving to you he is, your children, and her, she'll know how a man should treat a woman. Approach this gracefully, she may have meant it as a compliment!
    Annabel1809Lee

    Answer by Annabel1809Lee at 11:05 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Thank you guys. I think calling him uncle would be a great idea. I think that that would make it less confusing for my kids too.
    lizpiz

    Comment by lizpiz (original poster) at 11:14 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Uncle is best, for sure. And she's 3, that's plenty old enough to understand that she should call him Uncle instead of Dad. I'm sad for her and her mom, though. It's awesome of your husband to step in and provide a father figure for her. He's doing her a great favor by offering her love and safety and self esteem.
    EwansMommy

    Answer by EwansMommy at 11:21 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

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