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Would you end it with your SO and tell him to leave if he frequently yelled loudly & fought with you in front of your young child?

& said he didnt have enough money for therapy...

 
PURPULbutterfly

Asked by PURPULbutterfly at 11:19 PM on Aug. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 23 (17,427 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • It sounds like he isnt even willing to try. I grew up with a bipolar father who yelled all the time, lets just say he wasnt the one walking me down the aisle when I got married! He didnt even bother to show up. I believe being around him all the time and dealing with it killed any chance of us having a healthy relationship, and I grew up to not respect my mother because she just put up with it. Im pregnant with my first and am scared of allowing my child around such a weak women who is suppost to be a role model. Just remember your relationships with other people reflect how your children see you!
    Casumael

    Answer by Casumael at 1:06 AM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • If he didnt change he's ways I would try a seperation first to let him realize what he's about to lose and if he didnt change after that then yes i would kick him out the door. Our kids dont need to see that
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 11:20 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • yep, I'd leave
    onemellowmom

    Answer by onemellowmom at 11:21 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • It depends on what it is. I think its healthy for a child to see that adults can argue and resolve their issues. If a man is hitting me or using derogatory terms on a regular basis without having the ability of acting like an adult and making up, then I'd be the one contacting the county's mental health department and getting a way to have them pay for counseling. If something is fixable I wouldn't tear my family apart. From the little you've said, this sounds fixable.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 11:21 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • My SO had this very same problem, and he admitted he didn't know how to change, so until he is successful with therapy we have an agreement that he LEAVES THE HOUSE when he gets out of line, not for me, but so our child does not have to witness this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Yes.
    end of debate.
    I can not abide with yelling.
    Kiter

    Answer by Kiter at 11:22 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • is it his child too? cause if not, I'd be out of there. if so, I'd try everything I could to make him see what he was doing to the family, seperation and whatnot. if it didn't work, he'd be gone.
    catharsis

    Answer by catharsis at 11:23 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • yes, if he has an issue, he needs to act like an adult and tone it down, or do so out of ear shot of the children.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:51 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • Nobody can answer this for you, with what little information you give from your side, it's impossible to give fair advice. I would say you need to work on his temper with him and do whatever you have to do to get him to stop yelling in front of the kids, but would I leave him for it, probably not, I'd fix it myself if I had to. When he gets going, take the kids and go out for ice cream, if you do that enough, he'll get the picture and quit being a jerk. Yelling in front of the kids can be damaging, but there are far worse offenses imo, and it's not so extreme that it seems like an all or nothing type of situation, I'm sure you guys can work through this one if you love eachother, if you don't, well, then I understand this question then and your wanting someone to tell you to leave him.
    AshleyBDG

    Answer by AshleyBDG at 11:57 PM on Aug. 18, 2010

  • It takes 2 to fight also. Don't fight back, just leave the situation if he can't deal with your disagreement in a low tone of voice and a calm demeanor. You can't say he fights with me, because it takes 2 voices to fight, if you don't fight back then there is no fight, just reconvene later when the kids are not around or after bed, or outside, whatever. I'm not saying let him break you down, I'm saying be the bigger person and control the situation by not getting into it, at least when the kids are there, kwim?
    AshleyBDG

    Answer by AshleyBDG at 12:01 AM on Aug. 19, 2010