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have anyone gone thru the adoption process

my husband and i are just starting the adoption process. Can any one give us some advice please

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Johnasia

Asked by Johnasia at 9:59 AM on Aug. 19, 2010 in Adoption

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Most areas have an adoption workshop held several times a year. You can call local agencies, your local free Parent magazine, or social services to see when one is held in your area. These workshops are designed to be an over view on adoption. Usually social services, private adoption lawyers, adoption agencies (both domestic and international) set up booths for you to browse and pick up information. There are typically speakers who talk about adoption - adoptive parents, birthmothers, and adoptees. If you do not have anything like that in your area then you can do some of that. Better to be all in one location, but you can do the leg work. You can call various different adoption organizations, social services, lawyers....set up times to talk. Personally I would go to several. Even if you were not considering something like say international adoption - still check it out. It will give you the feel of how
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:11 AM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • you want to be treated, greeted, and the kinds of information out there. Is a place too pushy? Too expensive for your budget? Just not comfortable? How do they find expectant women or children for placement? Ask a lot of questions. Finding the right organization to work with you takes time. This is a process. The entire thing from start to end is a process. Many ups and downs are ahead and it is not an easy road. It is not supposed to be easy. So hang in there. If you found a place you are comfortable with then have excellent communication with them. Know that sometimes things will work out and sometimes things fall through. Having support is so important. Mostly support from other adoptive parents who have been there can be helpful. Friends and family just may not understand. One magazine I like is Adoptive Families. They have a website AdoptiveFamilies.com. You can always start a subscritpitoin now.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:17 AM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • I've gone through it twice. We did phone interviews with several agencies until we found the right one for us. Make sure that you ask lots of questions about how the agency treats birthmoms... that's way more important than how they treat you. Make sure bmoms get lots of support after placement, too. I agree with PP's also about getting support from other adoptive families through the process. It's long and sometimes scary and painful, but SO worth it in the end. Good luck!
    ZoeyBethsMomma

    Answer by ZoeyBethsMomma at 10:41 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • I adopted twice. Went thru the county and fostered 35 placements. I really wanted to mother and was able to mother infants even if they went to family or other adoptive families. I did medically fragile and picked up placements from the hospital. Most had exposure issues or really big health issues but still were able to be moved into one on one placements at home.

    How was your baby mothered is a question i would ask. How bonded is the child? A child that can bond once and bond again....it is the baby or child that was not offered a close attachment that doesn't learn bonding skills or trust.

    Exposure issues~only the strongest of families can deal with a baby bathed in the womb in alcohol or breast fed from a drinking mother. The brain does not get "put down" right in the development of the baby when the solvent alcohol is present. Now heroin and methadone are very "forgiving" to the brain (the mom looks like shit)
    surfcitymom

    Answer by surfcitymom at 11:29 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • Good point about alcohol vs other drugs. We often don't see alcohol as huge.... We think crack and meth as the big uh ohs. In the end alcohol is the least forgiving and most harmful.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:01 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • We foster adopted. Are you considering foster adopt?
    blessedwithree

    Answer by blessedwithree at 12:37 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • "The Adoption Resource Book" by Lois Gilman is a good place to start. It was recommended to us when we began the process. Gives you lots of information of types of adoptions, how to evaluate agencies, topics to consider, etc. The March of Dimes web site can be helpful in understanding potential impact of different activities during pregnancy (i.e. drugs, alcohol, etc) as well as the Center for Disease Control (CDC) site.
    momofryan07

    Answer by momofryan07 at 7:13 PM on Aug. 23, 2010

  • i have gone thew it twice it is always best to ask questions find out how they treat brithmoms befoure and afther placement ask what kinds of family,s they have do they have open and closed adoption each state has different laws on adoption i wish you the best of luck i hpoe everthing work out fine for you its not going to be easy and you going to go thew some ups and downs but in the long run its going to be worth it
    lovejackson1981

    Answer by lovejackson1981 at 10:58 AM on Aug. 24, 2010

  • bump
    san78

    Answer by san78 at 6:27 AM on Aug. 26, 2010

  • i agree with love.best wishes
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 2:18 PM on Aug. 27, 2010

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