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You tell a friend something is wrong with their child & they say they know...

What would you do if you told a friend you thought their preschooler needed to be checked out for delays & the friend says "Oh I know" and does nothing about it? even when you give them websites & phone numbers to call for assistance.

Why is my heart breaking for this child while they sit back & not do anything!!


Asked by Anonymous at 3:11 PM on Aug. 19, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • I eventually opened up to her and was able to confide in her about what we were doing, how I felt about it, and all that was running though my head. I think the reason I was able to do that.. is that she offered support. Everyone else seemed to constantly judge saying "you should be doing....XXXXXXX" Its overwhelming enough to have something not "normal" with your child.. but to feel like all your friends are judging you on top of it... very disheartening. I'm very blessed to have my friend. I can talk to her about my concerns with Gabe, and I know that she isn't judging my decisions. You may not think that it comes off that way, and maybe its not, I'm just sharing MY experience. And most parents go through a stage of denial. You can sit and say "if it were my child", but the reality is its is NOT your child. She may just need a bit of time, and a friend.

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 10:18 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • Unfortunately, there is not a lot you can do unless the child is in some form of danger. Just gently encourage her to do the right thing.

    Your friend, although she says I know, is possibly overwhelmed by the thought of having something wrong or is just in denial. It is really hard to think that this little person, who is perfect in your eyes really isn't perfect. Many of us just plug along and do what we need to do my oldest had speech delays and my youngest has a medical issue that can be overwhelming if I think too much.) Others just stick their heads in the sand and hope it will go away.

    Answer by balagan_imma at 3:16 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • You could ask the friend when they plan to do something. Not in a accusing voice, though. Next time you are together and the delay is obvious to both of you. Comment that you think he is such a beautiful and amazing child, and you wonder if she's called those numbers that you gave her and what she found out.

    Answer by Bmat at 3:14 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • Are you sure that nothing is being done about it?

    Do you know if the school is helping her child with it?

    Answer by DesertRose75 at 3:14 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • What can you do? Just do the best you can to encourage the mother to have her child checked.

    Answer by luvsmysonjames at 3:12 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • you have to leave it alone.
    They know.
    it's up to them
    and maybe they have stuff in the works being done.

    If it is an extreme health issue, that's a different story- one that might need follow up.

    Answer by Kiter at 3:16 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • I'm in the same situation. My 4 year old son doesn't speak too clearly and my in-laws have said he needs to be checked. I know it's not completely normal but I know if I continue to work with him, it'll get better. I've see improvements all the time and I guess I kinda hope I can "cure" it myself. Or if I give him more time, he will catch up. He'll be starting pre-k this year and if it's too much of a problem, I know the teacher will let me know. Some people, not me though, are afraid their child will be labeled which may be why they won't get help right away.

    Answer by keisha613 at 3:17 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • Early intervention is the key to any childhood delays, I hope your friend seeks assistance for the child.

    Answer by tasches at 3:46 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • What is checked out for delays?

    Answer by mamaofficer at 3:47 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • Are you sure that nothing is being done about it?
    ---yes im sure.. she said she didnt know what to do & i gave her all info she needed

    Do you know if the school is helping her child with it?
    ---- school?.. child is not school age & she wont put him in preschool or daycare.. he only goes to home day cares (me right now).

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:01 PM on Aug. 19, 2010