Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Which situation do you think is worse?

Being in an unhappy relationship where compromise and working together just are not happening despite your best efforts, or being a single mother?

Yes, I do occasionally get some help from him, but I often wonder if that expectation of help and the resentment that follows when it doesn't happen are worse then just doing everything on my own.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:19 PM on Aug. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Being in an : unhappy, unsatisfactory, unfilling, unloving, relationship where I did not feel: loved, admired, appreciated, respected, adored and wanted.


    I can be perfectly happy alone.. Why would I choose to be in a relationship that makes me unhappy..................


    The best is when you are experiencing those things/feelings in your relationship. And you and your partner have good enough communication, understanding, appreication and respect for one another to work together to address and rectify the issues that are causing the ill feelings and resentments.

    If the problem is you expect "X" then when "X" doesn't happen you feel disappointed, resentful, upset..etc.. Then I would take a honest look at my expectations, how I'm communicating them, and what it is exactly that's causing me to develop those felings. Is it because: he doesn't do something the way I do, he doesn't do anything at all, etc.

    CONT..
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 6:27 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • ive been wondering the same thing.. im starting to think though that life is too short to be happy, and that i should be a single mother for a while since i basically already am anyway and then maybe one day ill meet someone who will love me and my kids like there his own.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 6:27 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • Being in an unhappy relationship. I've been in both and trust me being a single mom isn't that bad!!
    Cindy18

    Answer by Cindy18 at 6:29 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • I would need to take an honest look and see if my feelings were being caused by HIM< or by my reaction/responses to him. Does that make sense?

    For instance: If I developed ill feelings because he didn't do something the way I would do it. Then that's on me. He's another person, I can't expect him to think, do things, view things exactly the same way I do......... If it's because he doesn't do anything, then I would need to express in a manner in which he not only listened but understood/comprehended my feelings and why I needed/wanted him to do whatever it is.... If it's because I expect him to just "KNOW" I need/want him to do whatever, and then when he doesn't I develop ill feelings, then that's on me. He can't look at my ass and read my mind.. LOL I have to be honest, upfront about my needs/wants, not just expect him to just know what they are.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 6:29 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • this is a hard one to answer... there is obviously a lot more going on than is posted here. Do you still love him? Is there anyway to work it out?
    Being a single mother is hard work, but if you are in a situation where nothing is working sometimes it is easier than dealing with another persons problems on top of it.
    Maybe try writing a list of the pros and cons of staying and going. see how it looks when you can physically see it.
    Amelora

    Answer by Amelora at 6:30 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • Being unhappy with someone else. Not only are you unhappy, but your children will grow up thinking that is normal...
    lilmoosesmom

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 6:43 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • In my experience it is so much easier to be a single mom as long as you have a good job to support you. BUT working hard to have a good marriage and truely loving someone has BY FAR the most rewarding and satisfing outcome. You can't get that living alone. I'll weed through the hard times, bite my tongue, and learn to love better for the wonderful days I get to spend with my hubby any time!
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 7:48 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • Being in an unhappy relationship where compromise and working together just are not happening despite your best efforts
    noahsmommy12908

    Answer by noahsmommy12908 at 10:16 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • Is there love in the relationship?
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 2:52 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
oaky so this is kind of personal

Next question overall (Kids' Health)
ADHD?

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN