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2 Bumps

How do you get a teenager to obey rules?

I'm taking care of my teenage sister and we have been having a lot of tension because she doesn't want to follow rules. We have tried grounding her from the TV and computer but that doesn't seem to work. I'm desparate, I've tried talking with her, reasoning with her, nothing works. She says she hates it here and we treat her badly but we only want her to go to bed at a decent time so we can have some down time after all the kids are in bed. Does anyone know the proper way to deal with a teenager when they act this way?

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momof3girls1983

Asked by momof3girls1983 at 7:46 PM on Aug. 19, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 3 (15 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I think you have your hands full. :( Good luck! Here is a bump for you!
    momto1girl3boys

    Answer by momto1girl3boys at 7:49 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • what is a BUMP??? lol
    diamondsarecool

    Answer by diamondsarecool at 7:54 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • I dont' know about you but when I was a teenager, I think when my parents compromised with me it worked better than saying outright that I couldn't do something. I don't think taking away a tv or computer will make your teenage sister more willing to agree to any rules of the house. Depending upon how old your teenage sister would be a guide to how responsible she can be and the trust theat needs to come with allowing certain privileges. I would call them ground rules since you want to keep her safety in mind with giving her certain privileges. for example, staying out to a given hour, and coming home when expected so no one worries about something happening to her. Since it's summer, as long as she doesn't disturb anyone, if she doesn't go to bed right away, and watches some television, I don't see how this could be a problem. As school approaches, she may want to try going to bed at a reasonable time so she can get up.
    CafeMochaMom1

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 7:58 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • That's what the whole trouble was. DH said she'd better start getting to bed at a decent hour since school is approaching and she took offense.
    momof3girls1983

    Comment by momof3girls1983 (original poster) at 8:00 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • how old are you and how old is she?
    sahlady

    Answer by sahlady at 8:08 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • I'm 27, almost 28 actually. My birthday is the 22nd and she is going on 16
    momof3girls1983

    Comment by momof3girls1983 (original poster) at 8:09 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • do you remeber the time that you where you like her how did you act with your parents she is test you don't fall for it and pick your fights you two need to grow your to have alot of fight but in the end never forget you are sisters and bond you have yes you have family but you also have your sister there so make time with her a girl night out or even a night out with you and your hubby and your sister you might just learn to like her
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 8:17 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • You are going to have to just lay down the law and then you are going to have to enforce it. You decide what time you want her in her room and ready for bed. You can tell her she doesn't have to go to sleep(you can't make her do that), but that she does have to be in her room with the lights out at that time. You don't have anything in that room that she can "play" with--no phone, no computer, no tv, nothing. If that doesn't work, then you might consider throwing the breaker to that room so that there's no electricity after bedtime. If she is going to insist on acting like a brat, then that's exactly how you should treat her. If she runs away, send the police after her. This child may be one with whom you will have to play hardball, but her entire future depends upon how you handle her right now. She must learn to submit to authority, and right now that is you. This is your house, your rules, and she must live by them
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:23 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • All of this over a bedtime.. LOL.. Let her stay up as late as she wants as long as she is quiet and stays in her room.. Once she has to get up at 6:30 in the morning to get ready for school, she will start going to bed at a time that is right for her.. She knows when she is tired and she also knows what she needs to do. Let her have some control, save the battles for something bigger and more important..Sorry but at 16 I really don't think fighting about a bedtime is a good idea, she will be on her own in 2 years, time for her to start growing up some KWIM...
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 8:24 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • I hate to say this, but at 16 I didn't have a bedtime. I had to be in the house by a certain time unless I was at work. Curfew was 9 on weeknights and 11 on the weekends. We knew what time we had to be in bed by in order to get up and function the next day. I would tell her that you want her in her room by _____ and then stick to it. Leave a little room to play on the weekend. When they are 16 you need to pick your battles or they will do everything they can to spite you. I wish you luck.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 8:34 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

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