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I need help for anyone that's been there or has any advice on stepparenting. adult content

I have a 7 y/o sd who lives with us every other week. Her and my son go to the same school now that he's in kindergarten and they are very close. Of course, with stepparenting comes the b.o. She is horrible. She took my sd away from us saying that I was the problem and ruined our whole summer. We went to counseling and things seemed to be straightening out. We have been out for 4 weeks now and she has intentionally done things to sabotage my sd's relationship with her father and make his life hell. They were supposed to enroll her in school together and she went herself leaving him out of the paperwork and stating she has sole custody. She messed up the bus schedule. We went to 'meet the teacher' night and she never showed. Turns out, she went after we did and re-filled out all of the paperwork omitting my husbands name. We were supposed to go school shopping and she did it before it was our week (typical b.m. move)

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:07 PM on Aug. 19, 2010 in Parenting Debate

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I don't know what you can do other than keep being kind and involved with your step daughter. Keep pushing to be in her life, don't let the mother's antics get to you or interfere. While it might drive you crazy you have to keep that from your step daughter but you and your husband can commiserate together and know you have each other's backs. I know it is so hard but I think you just have to kill her with kindness and not let her know things get to you, at the same time document what you can and stand up for your rights- like if SD is coming to you dirty and sick let the court or attorneys know this and always be there for your scheduled visits and custody times. If you do this you are showing SD that she is more important to you than battles with her mother, and you are teaching her by example to be the bigger person and not be brought down to someone else's level. Not easy but something to strive for. Good luck to you!
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 8:48 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • Today, the principal called my husband and apologized to him and said he didn't know what to do because of her behavior. My husband stated he would be by tomorrow to straighten it out with his ex. I had to step in for my husband during the first counseling session today because he could not miss another day's work. (he's had to miss for counseling, and for school for the entire summer and is about to get fired). I have read literature about stepparenting and I feel as though nothing pertains to me. This little girl on her moms weeks has come to us with no baths, UTI's, yeast infections you name it from not being bathed all week. Her mom is a compulsive liar. When called on her actions today, she tried changing the subject and said she didn't do it. My husband is hurting and I don't like the head of my household in emotional pain (much less any other pain). My state is a mother state, so full custody is out of the ques
    midnightshadow2

    Answer by midnightshadow2 at 8:11 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • it sounds like she might have an issue with you and you might need to confront her with out the kids around. as far as the sole custody thing all you so has to do is take the court papers stating other wise to the school and talk to the principal.
    puresouthern

    Answer by puresouthern at 8:12 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • tion. Bottom line, kids are hurting, I'm hurting, and my husband is seriously hurting.
    midnightshadow2

    Answer by midnightshadow2 at 8:12 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • Boy i wish my kids daddy can find a woman like you. You are a good stepmother being in the child life.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 8:12 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • Then take her to a doctor when she visits it you and file for full custody.
    pinkebabii

    Answer by pinkebabii at 8:15 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • I have 2 step children that absolutely love me! But the mother is outrageous. The best way to handle this is to show her that it's not getting to him. She's only doing this because she wants to make his like hell (trying to get revenge). If he basically says who give a flying f*** she'll change. Being patient is the best way to handle this. Don't try to force it because arguing and fighting in front of the child can hurt the child in the end. Just love her whenever you get the chance to see her and she'll appreciate that in the end. Good luck!
    limegreen1223

    Answer by limegreen1223 at 8:17 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • That's why I don't want to be a stepmother. I've been there done that and that enough for a life time.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 8:18 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • I had a stepmother who was my MOTHER. I absolutely loved her and do to this day...she is still my mother. I hate to see step mom bashing...........especially when the real mom isn't doing her job.
    BridgetC140

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 8:26 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • stepkids know you can't really do anything to them cuz the bio-parent will almost always side with them even when they are in the wrong. Unless you were with the child since infancy its going to be that way. For me, I more or less washed my hands of that nasty kid and concentrated on my own kids and my life was alot easier just letter his dad worry about his own kid. I can honestly say I did try to get along tho, he didn't like me from the start and didn't want me interupting his little world with just him and his Dad...tuff. He's on his own now and I'm still here, so I guess he didn't get his way after all.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 5:04 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

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