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3 Bumps

How do you feel...

How do you feel when (if) you and your DH are having sex and he all of sudden can't get "..." it hard. It makes me feel like I am not good enough .He says he just got stressed. It have happened only twice in 4 years. Has it happend to you before? if so, what do you do? how do you feel?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:21 PM on Aug. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • If a man is toostressed or tired, pretty much nothing will get it going. At least that is my experience. It's only happened a few times with my DH but yes, it can happen. It doesn't feel great for me but I do know how difficult his job is and he works long hours so I just remember that. He feels bad too and the next night makes up for it. Don't feel bad. It really is not a comment on you not being attractive or sexy enough for your husband. Let him get rested up or destress. Then things will work like normal.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:26 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • that happens to my SO quite often. when we first got together, i felt like it was something wrong with me.. but now i realize, its not. its his own problem. a bodily problem.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:26 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • My husband could not get hard at all except right before he would orgasm. He told me that it was me, though, so I'm no help with the stress thing. But I have read and heard from other guys that that can happen. It's not you if it's only happened a couple of times in that amount of time. I would say that he's telling the truth about the stress and not worry about it. Try other ways to help him de-stress like a massage when he gets home, or right before the sex. I've heard that that can help a lot. Never did for me, but I'm in a different situation. Don't worry about it too much hun, it's not a huge deal. It might seem like it, but if it only happens every once in a while, I'm sure it is just stress. If it starts happening regularly, it might be health related, though.

    Answer by Mrs.BAT at 10:27 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • hubby will kill me for answering this... but i dont have that problem is problem is he can't finish when hes overstressed....

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 10:28 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • I know I have had it happen once before, if there was other times I dont remember. Ya, I know it made me feel bad. I felt like I wasnt sexy enough for him and he was bored. I tried not to get upset. I do know it happens, there are different reasons why. I would just take into count if he really is stressed, and if you guys do have a healthy sex life. If you do it frequently you know he does enjoy it. And there really isnt much to do wrong, guys are pretty easy to please. Gl

    Answer by sassy_brizzy at 10:28 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • It happens. Doesnt mean you are doing anything wrong.

    Answer by RheaF at 10:30 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • It happens to me all the time. SO has HBP and has a hard time staying hard sometimes. He feels bad enough. I don't take it personally. You shouldn't either.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:35 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • It didn't happen at all for the longest time and then too often. Made me feel horrible. He has job stress and not we have other problems so.... whatever.

    Answer by jojo3328 at 10:48 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • It happens. Don't take it personally.

    Answer by thatgirl70 at 10:50 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

  • Yes, that's happened several times over the past year. But on the other hand there have been times when we both were able to come at the same time. So some times were better than others. I hope everything works out for you both.

    Answer by zboys at 10:52 PM on Aug. 19, 2010

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