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Is it alright for a married man to still communicate with an ex girlfriend that he says was the love of his life

He says they never so much as kissed back then because she was really religious. He wrote a paper for one of his classes on her and how great she was and she was there for him when his dad died, they went to the prom together, I've seen the pictures and he looks so happy with her.Then she moved away .I think he needs closure.


Asked by Anonymous at 10:24 AM on Oct. 8, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Obviously they were very good friends, and it sounds like she really helped him through a hard time. That is very hard for a man to let go of.. and it doesnt mean he is in love with her like that, or wants to have sex with her, etc...

    I dont think its ever fair to depict who your husband can and cant be friends with. How would you like him to do that to you? It sounds to me that if you wouldnt allow your man to have a great freind in his life, you have serious trust issues with your husband.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Not in my book is it ok for a married man to cummunicate with any ex. Unless they have kids together.

    Answer by louise2 at 10:28 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I wouldn't stand for it... I agree with louise... only if they have kids together.

    Answer by pupmom at 10:38 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I agree with Louise as well. He may feel the need for closure now, but it is too late. He is married. that should be the closure. He should have thought of that before he got married.

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 10:43 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Sounds like he needs to resolve his feelings for this woman but that does not mean he should do it by having contact with her,. he could do this by going to counseling. If your afraid that him having contact with this ex gf will rekindlewhat they once shared then tell him that your uncomfortable with them having any contact with out you being involved. see how he reacts one you tell him this and then you will have the answer to weather or not its alright for him to have contact with his ex


    Answer by mncoffeemom at 10:45 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • No. He should not be communicating with her. His closure came when he married you.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:16 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Ok I have a different view then the other women on here. Even though he is married that doesnt mean that in any way he had closure for another women who moved which was not by choice. I believe he is in love with you but still has that thing about her cause like you said that didnt so much as kiss and maybe he feels like he missed out on allot with her. Alot of people wonder "WHAT IF" but you are who he loves If I were you I would just be there for him to talk to about this. I know that sounds strange but she is long gone and will never be a major part in his life again so give him somthing to look forward to because when it all comes down to it, you are his world now. Good luck sweetie, not that you will need it though. :)

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 12:29 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • There is no need at all whats so ever for him to contact an ex g/f. He married you!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • You say that YOU think he needs closure. Does he feel the same way? Does he really say that she was "the love of his life" or a love from way back when? The papers we write in school while we are dating someone are what we feel right then, at that moment, doesn't mean we are always going to feel that way or that we feel that way now, years later. He married you. If you feel comfortable and he's open about it then sure, let him have communication with her. BUT, if he is claiming her to be "the love of his life" then don't cry about it when it bites you in the ass. He's probably thinking about the "what if's?" and you are handing him a ticket to go for it. Good luck!

    Answer by lilsweetredhead at 12:39 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • It's ok ONLY if they have kids together. He is married to YOU and he needs to let is past be exactly that, HIS PAST. And I can't even imagine how it must make you feel to know that he calls this other girl the "love of his life". That would devestate me! IMO, since he made the choice to marry you, YOU should be the love of his life, not some ex of his. If my fiance were to ever say that I was not the love of his life, there is no way that I would marry him. (JMO)

    Answer by Dark_Princess_2 at 12:39 PM on Oct. 8, 2008