Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do you think it's too formal to address a step parent as Mr. or Mrs.??

Trying to decide what kids should call step parents is not easy, especially when the biological parents are involved as well, and they get jealous over titles (Mom or Dad)

Answer Question

Asked by mothergoose at 10:33 AM on Oct. 8, 2008 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • I would let the step kids call the step parent by their first name,sence that person is not mom or dad

    Answer by louise2 at 10:38 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I think it is way to formal, for me I want to have a close relationship. I just think you can't have that close relationship if you keep it this formal.

    Answer by delanibug at 10:40 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Yes, I think it is too formal. I don't think a child would feel completely relaxed in a home where they still had to follow such rigid social nicities. Nowadays kids don't even call their friends parent's Mr. and Mrs. so to ask them to call someone in their immediate family Mr. or Mrs. seems odd. JMO.

    Answer by VAMommyX4 at 10:40 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I have known my step father since I was 9 yrs old and I just turned 35 this summer. When I met him I called him Mr Frank and to this day I still do. My mom and him have been married since 2000 but they started dating around 1983 or 1984. I just don't feel right calling him dad but I also don't think its right to just call him Frank. Its all in how you feel and what you think they should call him.

    Answer by GraciesMom927 at 11:03 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • That would be too formal for me. It's still a family relationship even if not blood. My stepdaughter calls me by my first name and my son calls my husband by his first name.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 11:10 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Yes, too formal. My soon to be SS calls me by my first name. And my sons call my fiance by his.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:12 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Addressing them as Mr. or Mrs. IS too formal. Step parents are much more involved with kids today than they used to be. I wouldn't necessarily say that calling them "mom" or "dad" is appropriate either especially if both parents are involved with their lives. But a nice medium usually works. How about they call them by their first name or make up a name for them that is respectful? I call my mom's boyfriend David. I would never call him Mr. Taylor because that's just silly.. as if he's a stranger on the street. I called my step grandparents Grandpa Estell, Grandpa Charles, and Grandma Rose. As a matter of fact, I called my biological grandparents Grandpa Leonard, Grandma Lou, Grandma Angie. They never complained. lol

    Answer by vicki1130 at 11:15 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • It all depends on the family and the custody situation. I think "Mr." and "Mrs." is way too formal. Out of respect and as a good way to start things off, I think the step parent to be should be asked what they prefer.

    Answer by chillemi78 at 11:37 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • Calling a stepparent Mr or Mrs Surname would only cause the kids to feel like visitors in their own home. Of course, if the GOAL is to make sure that the kids never develop a close relationship to the stepparent, that'd be a great way to do it. Of course, it'd screw up the kids, but from what I've seen that's often irrelevent.

    My stepbabies called me by my first name until the wedding, even though I'm not crazy about kids calling adults by their first names (that should be another "question" on here). After the wedding, we decided on a pet name together.

    Their mom has them give each of her boyfriends special pet names.

    Answer by Avarah at 11:51 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • first names i think are good, or even let the child decide.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.