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How can I put my past behind me? It haunts me everyday..........

I am a broken woman...I've delt and seen so much in my life that it haunts me to this day and I don't know how to deal with it. I watched my brother (also my best friend) get run over by a truck and handicapped for life, was beat with a gunrod until I had welts on my body from my dad, watched my dad beat my mom and my brother, was molested by 2 different uncles and my mom never protected me...just said I wanted to do it and called me a liar...

I have Major depression (been diagnosed) because of the way I was raised and even though I'm 26yrs old it still follows me and haunts me. I just got on meds to help my depression but I didn't know if anyone had advice on how they coped with such a tramatic childhood. I think I need to call and go to counseling to help me.......

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worriedmommy600

Asked by worriedmommy600 at 12:46 AM on Aug. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Level 23 (16,335 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Contact a counsler, talking about it could help you. I had to talk about everything that happened to me during childhood before I was able to confront my demon's. It will get better take it one step at a time and know that everything that happened to you was NOT your fault.
    HisLove18

    Answer by HisLove18 at 12:48 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Sounds like you've been through a lot. Counseling is a good idea but if you can't afford it I suggest going to a church minister. God loves you and no problem is too big that He can't handle.
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 12:48 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • My mom had a horrible childhood, the thing that helped her was therapy. She went for 15 years. She is the only one of her siblings that have gone to counseling. Out of the seven kids, two committed suicide. My mom is the only "normal" one and I am sure much of her success in dealing with it all has come from working things out through counseling.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 12:51 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Your life reminds me of FML (F&CK my life). I am sorry you had to deal with this, and the best way to cope is get over it. You need to find some good GFs and go out and drink and get over your demons! This is what has helped me get over life lessons. Once you start going overboard and act like the girl on The Real Life, I would suggest not blacking out and screaming about what happened. I think you should talk to friends or blog about it on here before going and spending money on a counselor!
    smokisses

    Answer by smokisses at 1:01 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I promise you if you can find a counsler that you can relate with & trust it will help more than you can imagine- i had a pretty rough childhood too; not as bad as yours but, i had so many issues that i couldn't let go of- i also have major depression & anxiety- i was in counseling for 20 years- i probably went the last 10 b/c i was to scared to stop but, they will help you gain tools to learn how to move foward & not let your past run your life- Make a appointment; you have nothing to lose right? Wishing you the best-
    daisyb

    Answer by daisyb at 1:01 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • smokisses.......while I appreciate your advice I don't think that drinking my problems away with girlfriends is going to help me. I've been down that road in my teens and all it did was mask my problems. At the end of the day and while straight sober the problems are still here.......I thought time would heal my wounds, and it has some, but they are still there and my family is non existent in my life (on and off over the years and filled with painful drama so I cut them out of my life). I'm hoping counseling helps me...I have a very good life now but this stuff is eating me alive..
    worriedmommy600

    Comment by worriedmommy600 (original poster) at 1:07 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Your story is so terrible on so many levels. I too have had some tough things happen and what I can say is if the first med doesn't work how you would like, please try another one. It took me at least 5 different meds (probably more) until I found Zoloft works best for me - and I had to do some research and tell my Dr that I wanted to try it. The same goes with a counselor, if the first one isn't to YOUR liking get another one - be honest with the counselor and tell them he/she is not meeting your needs - be assertive for yourself as I know it seems like nobody else is watching out for you
    mom2priceboys

    Answer by mom2priceboys at 1:26 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Yeah I know what you must be going through my childhood I don't remember at all just story's and they are not the best and when I brought it up to my parents they wont tell me what happen. I have kids and they can tell you about their childhood good and the bad and the ugly...lol. I just don't understand why they don't just come out and say I or we did wrong by you. I am so sorry that you had the childhood that we put you through I wish that we could do better.It is what it is. Thanks to God for being there for me.

    paurad

    Answer by paurad at 2:20 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • get in for counceling for sure! I didnt read your replies. but if you dont have medical insurance or cant afford counceling alot of churches offer free counceling. good luck!
    koensmom22

    Answer by koensmom22 at 2:25 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I've been in your shoes. Counseling will help. It will help you identify how your abuse affected you (in good ways and bad). A good therapist will teach you skills to deal with memories, confront as needed, run through the emotions you feel, and learn to take care of yourself (when other didn't). In the end you will feel better and more capable of dealing with it all but it never fully goes away. I still occasionally have nightmares (I am 36) and I have dumb insecurities that I put in their place all the time. But my life is good and honestly there are some advantages to having been in our place. I am senstive to others, I am protective of my kids, and I know the value of love. Don't take it for granted. You are not alone and people care!
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 7:32 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

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