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I hate you!

How do you react when your child says, I hate you! Do you punish/discipline or do you respond with love?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:02 AM on Aug. 20, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • No punishment necessary. Just be a sponge and absorb it. Say, "well you feel that way but I still love you." Or "okay." Or "thank you for sharing, anything else you want to get off your chest?" No need for sarcasm. This is normal. As long as they are not being violent it is going to be fine. The reality is most kids are looking to hurl hurtful words because they feel wounded. Just acknowledge their feelings and thoughts and let it be that. If you get all bent out of shape then they know they scored major time. Yes, it hurts. But talk about that later. Like a few days later when things are going well: "remember when you said you hated me, well at the time it hurt. I'll love you always no matter what you say or do." But in the moment when a child is dishing out hurtful words you have to be the one to be calm because they are not.  If this child is in your face you can ask, do you

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:27 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I have responded with "I'm sorry you feel that way, but I still love you"
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:04 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I always say..."Well I love you!"

    If you have a big reaction either way, he will know it bugs you so he will keep saying it.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 1:05 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I havent gotten the "i hate you" yet but my daughter told me "mommy i really dislike you right now" I told her that i understood and i was glad she could share her feelings with me and that i loved her and when she was ready to we would talk about it.

    I dont let it upset me, most days i am just glad they are willing to tell me how they feel. I would never punish my children for having feelings.
    3_ring_circus_

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 1:09 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • my kids only said it once i hate you i cried they never said it again because they new it hurt me i always told no matter what i love them
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 1:10 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • when my daughter said that i talked to her to let her know what that ment
    devinalexis

    Answer by devinalexis at 1:04 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • My child never has but my 3 yr old cousin has told me that several time I just tell her even though she *thinks* she hates me I still love her and always will. Then she gets a sad look and says she is sorry she loves me to the swing and back. lol
    HisLove18

    Answer by HisLove18 at 1:05 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I just told them "that's OK...I still love you!" then you take a breath and move on
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 1:14 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • It hurts my feelings. Ds has said it like 2 times but it was like 2 years ago and I knew in that moment he didn't mean it. Kids says things to test parents and get a reaction. I said,"Well, that isn't nice to say and I love you and that hurt's my feelings." Right away when he knew it hurt my feelings he apologized and said he didn't really mean it. When they say I hate you they usually mean,I don't like what you're doing/saying
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 1:08 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I always just say, "You may think that now... but tomorrow you might think im the best Aunt in the world!"
    janieishappy

    Answer by janieishappy at 1:11 AM on Aug. 20, 2010