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Is Breastfeeding the reason my baby is so dependent?

My daughter Ava is 2 yrs old (29 months) now and she is a healthy child. She does a lot of different things at home and is always getting in trouble. She plays well with her siblings. It's when we go out to play with other children her age, the other children seem to be more outgoing and participating in park activities or pretend play etc.. Ava seems to want to do her own thing or stayed glued to me. I am still nursing her ( just pretty much during night time and she sleeps with me). Alot of people have said it was because I am breastfeeding and I feel bad because I don't want to cripple her independence. Can I get some positive advice please? Anyone experienced with a situation such as this?

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Asked by luvelymommy at 1:43 AM on Aug. 20, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 3 (21 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Sounds to me like she is just shy with strangers. My son is the same way. He is great at home and with people he knows. We go to the park and he hangs back and likes to just watch other kids mostly. I am shy too so I don't think much of it...he's just like me. I don't think breastfeeding or cosleeping has anything to do with it (we still do both those things too.) Don't listen to people, they like to bash what they aren't familiar with. Breastfeeding and cosleeping is said to promote more secure, confident kids and I strongly agree. You can foster a kids independence by teaching them skills and confidence, but a shy kid is going to be shy. There's nothing wrong with that. A world full of outgoing social butterflies would be a very noisy place...there needs to be some quiet introverted people like us to balance out the chaos lol.

    Answer by getrealmama at 1:48 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • It is the norm for a child to be breastfeeding at age 2. It's what humans have always done throughout time. It's everyone else that is abnormal. You are doing the best thing possible for your daughter by breastfeeding. The World Health Org recommends all children be breastfed at least 2 yers.

    She may not be ready for group play. That's ok. You don't need to tell anyone she is breastfeeding. We live in such an unsupportive society and you don't need to hear it. You might like to get involved with La Leche League or another moms group that supports extended breastfeeding.


    Answer by Gailll at 1:48 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • WHAT! Seriously? No I do not agree with that at all, my youngest two children both breasrfed until their 3rd birthdays and both co-slept and they are very independant and outgoing. My youngest will talk to random strangers while grocery shopping, it was a real nighmare for me trying to teach her stranger danger when she was 2 years old, she thought everyone was her friend and whould start conversations with anyone. Being dependant and independant has nothing to do with breastfeeding or not. How much interaction does she have with children outside the home? is she shy with other people in general? Some kids like adults are fine in their comfort zone but become shy and quiet in large crowds or with people they dont know very well. If anything it sounds like you just need to continue to encourage her to play with others and take her to playdates.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 1:49 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • My Dd is 16 months old and very independent. I plan to breastfeed her til she's 2+ or self weens. So, I would say it's just Ava's personallity. It's nothing to do with you breastfeeding her. It might help if she made a friend in the play group or whatever. Sometimes kids just need to make those connections before wanting to go farther from Mom.. Good luck :)

    Answer by Mom2unangel at 8:08 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I highly doubt it, and this is coming from someone who did not breastfeed nearly that long. Children have distinct personalities. It's tempting to think that we have a lot of control over how our kids turn out (and some people use that idea as an excuse to judge mothers for their choices), but I don't believe that a single choice like breastfeeding (or working out of the home which is what one nasty woman blamed my son's shyness on) can have that large of an impact on a child's temperment.

    Answer by barefootbooks at 5:09 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I honestly do not think that it has anything to do with the breastfeeding I breastfed my Son until he was almost three and he is very independant and social.

    It sounds to me like she just has a shy personality. That is not something that anyone can change. I am sure that she will come out of her shell as time passes but don't rush it.

    Answer by hsmominky at 10:00 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

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