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2 Bumps

how can a mother accepct the fact that their child is dead?

im asking this question to find ways to help the mother cope. its been a year. she has other children. her dd still cant accept it. any tips any one. im stumped. and i like to hlep them.

 
reina77

Asked by reina77 at 2:35 AM on Aug. 20, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 9 (276 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I do not know what you mean accept. There is no choice but to accept it. That does not stop the pain, the questions, the grief. It is not up to you to help her accept it. If you have not lost a child you have no way of knowing what it is like. I lost my son 26 years ago and my daughter 7 months ago. Talking and being with other parents that have lost their children is helpful. They understand.
    Life is never the same. There is no time limit for the grief to end. There is no getting over it. Just be there let her hurt. Listen to her talk about her child.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 8:45 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • New song or compassionatefriends is a place that people have lost loved ones in their life's and they do help it is a group of people that meet and talk their feeling out. I lost my son 6 yrs ago it is hard very hard but talking about the one you lost helps alot and there will be people that will tell you that it is time to get over it or why don't you just move on. counseling helps. God speed.

    paurad

    Answer by paurad at 2:46 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Accept the fact the child is dead?? I think having to bury your child would have to be the most awful thing in the world. I don't think I coull accept it either .. I would absolutely drive myself crazy.. Just be there for the whole family. Be there for them to talk to, to listen, and to give a shoulder to cry on.
    mistym31

    Answer by mistym31 at 2:39 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I dont know, I cant even imagine. We have a couple in our family who just lost their only child a few weeks ago, they are devastated, they are too old to start again he was 27 and hadnt married yet.. I think its like losing anyone else it takes time and a year is not enough time, for some people 10 years isnt enough time. I have a friend who lost her husband and infant son in a car accident and she still had two boys at home to raise, I still think she is an amazing women but i know that it haunts her, she has continued to push on and live but she still is very heartbroken and it has been 16 years.
    3_ring_circus_

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 2:41 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I lost my first born twin son a little over a year ago, to this day it's still hard, I miss him sooo much and think about him everyday. The thing that helped me the most was writing and expressing myself. I couldn't find anyone to talk to since everyone mourns differently, I guess I'll never be able to accept it because although my son is not here physically, he's here spiritually, we talk about him everyday, we have his pictures up, my kids know about him and we pray for him at night and at the table during meals. The fact is that we keep my son alive within our family so he's still alive for us but obviously the fact that I can't hug him, kiss him and hold him physically is hard. I share with anyone that asks, The more I have said it the easier it's gotten. you can help by being there for support or just listening to her, sometimes thats all I needed. Just to be able to cry and scream.
    babyangelromero

    Answer by babyangelromero at 3:15 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • If my Dd ever died, I don't know that I'd ever accept it. Could put her into therapy, I doubt any suggestions made to her would help.
    Mom2unangel

    Answer by Mom2unangel at 2:38 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • It is a VERY hard thing to deal with... I still have trouble coping and I lost my daughter over 3 years ago (she was stillborn at 22 weeks). And I'm not sure, but I assume it would be even harder to lose a child that was born alive and then passed away later on.

    I think you may want to suggest counseling or group therapy to your friend (in a non-judgmental, loving way). Maybe seeing a counselor or meeting other mothers who lost little ones will help her find ways to achieve closure.
    WomanWitty

    Answer by WomanWitty at 2:39 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I don't think it's something you can help with. Prayer and time.
    stenhouse_baby

    Answer by stenhouse_baby at 2:52 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Counseling or talking to an elder in her family, church, or find a support for people who have lost someone in the family.
    AdrianaS

    Answer by AdrianaS at 3:03 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • i agree. losing my father was hard enough on me when i was a kid. if anything ever happened to my daughter i truly would die from a broken heart. there's no way i'd be able to function
    aliishott2

    Answer by aliishott2 at 3:44 AM on Aug. 20, 2010