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2 Bumps

am I traumatizing the kids or are they just being naughty?

I have a 2 yr & 4 yr old who are very bad about getting into things, breaking things etc. They are climbing chairs to try and get on the refrigerator or in the spices. They like to play inside the refirgerator and pull things out. Every 2 mins I'm pulling them down from something or telling tell no. It got to the point where I literally could do nothing but follow them around 24/7.
I got fusterated so I stuck them in the playroom with a baby gate and told them they couldn't come out until the timer when off. ( I usually set it for 30 minutes) This helped me get some work done, usually the kitchen. Worked for 2 days.
Now they scream like I pored hot acid on them when I put them in the playroom. I can see them and they can see me but are completly freaking out. It's so bad I usually let them out and not get my work done. I can't figure out if this is hurting them or they just don't want to be there. What should I do now?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:01 AM on Aug. 20, 2010 in About CafeMom

Answers (8)
  • no they are manipulating you. you have got to be the MOM here and be firm. they are NOT BEING HURT by being in basically a HUGE PLAYPEN while you get some stuff done. but it sounds to me like you really need to batton down on yourself and get some serious discipline going wiht your children
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 7:08 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • You did the right thing. You removed them from the situation to a place they were safe. And you get stuff done AND.....they learned a lesson. Do that every time you see them get into something or even get close to getting in to something and they will stop. Also, if they even look in the direction of something they shouldn't touch, Say, " Do you want to go back in there with the gate? " That should be warning and deterrent enough.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 7:11 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • leave them in there...if they come out and start getting into things i would put them right back in..give them warnings before they go to see if they understand
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:00 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • My DD usually gibe 1 warning and it's the what punishment she says she's warned them with. It pretty much worked for her oldest when she was little so I'd go with the warning and put them back in the room. . Don't say a punishment you don't or can't follow thru with.
    MyAngel003

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 8:41 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • No you are not doing anything wrong! As long as they are in a safe area where you can keep a watchful eye over them, you are just keeping them contained :) It's important for their mental health as well as yours! You can use time-outs, too -- designate a rug or small chair as the time-out spot, and every time they are doing something naughty, put them in a time out.
    At our house, time out lasts until the child is ready to calmly explain what they were doing wrong and apologize. It just helps them when you remove them from the situation and gives them a little bit of time to reconsider their actions. Be prepared for a lot of protesting from your children - but stay firm with it, and you'll be teaching them a valuable skill -- self control.
    MommaofH2

    Answer by MommaofH2 at 8:51 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • You're being punished! Go to this room and play with your toys!!!
    LOL
    I've done it, too. As long as they're safe, it's not scary, and you don't leave them in there for extended times, then you're fine.
    SherriPie

    Answer by SherriPie at 9:39 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • If being restricted to the playroom ceases to work, then I would start taking away their favorite toys--at minimum the 4 year old will take notice, and maybe the 2 year old will follow.

    They are trying to get your attention--and even negative attention is something. Tell them when you are done doing what you need to get done, you will play with them. Teach them how to wait patiently, and respect your rules.
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 10:44 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • They know how ot press your buttons and get their way. Next time, let them scream. It will be torture for you to listen to, but you won't be harming them. In the end, after a day or so of screaming, they'll learn. Also, be sure they know why they are in the playroom. Say something like Mommy has to get some work done so you need to stay in the playroom and play with your toys.
    HotMama330

    Answer by HotMama330 at 11:30 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

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