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2 Bumps

Is it me? (Marriage)

I found out from my sister that he was planning to propose to me since last November. Eight months later I'm four months pregnant and still no proposal. I have brought up marriage a few times here and there in just casual conversations and his response is always "I want to spend the rest of my life with you but I want it to be right" I don't know what to think or do right now. It's been eight months. I'm worried that he's not only not ready for marriage but that he's not ready for marriage WITH ME. I want to trust the words that he says... but his actions have been a bit contradictory.

Answer Question
 
angelbaby053099

Asked by angelbaby053099 at 9:06 AM on Aug. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (23 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • nag him and you'll push him away.

    I got an idea: being the 21st century and all... why not propose to HIM? then you'll know for sure.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 9:07 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Did he confide in your sis? Or did she hear it 3rd party? Maybe she was wrong or misinformed. If you can trust that he loves you and will support you and the baby- just relax, enjoy your pregnancy & give him time to pick the "right time"
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 9:10 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I would be suspicious of his comment... "I want to spend the rest of my life with you but I want it to be right"... Why isn't it "right" right now? That doesn't make any sense to me. I think you need to find out what he means by that comment and go from there. Good luck:)
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 9:10 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Well since your sisters already in the thick of it why not have her ask him what he's waiting for. Have her tell him that you'd like to get married sooner than later & see what he does. His actions will reveal his true feelings.
    Nyx7

    Answer by Nyx7 at 9:10 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • In my case, we knew that we wanted to get married and weren't willing to put it off until some indefinite time in the future. Since you are pregnant, it is time for him to step up. Perhaps you should do the proposing, or at least point to your abdomen and say "It is time we got married, before this baby arrives." Talk to him about it. No point in being coy now, the baby is coming. If he isn't sure, then fine, but you need to be moving on with your life. Regardless, if you haven't already, you may want to get job training in some field where you can be reasonably assured that there will be a job available for you after your baby arrives. I am thinking that if your baby's father wanted to be married, that he would be, especially with his baby on the way.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:12 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Second hand information about a marriage proposal should never be trusted. My guess is that he does not intend to marry you or it would already have happened. This is the reason why it is better to be married before having sex and making children. I think you have good reason to be worried, but the sad fact is that you can't force him to marry you; and with a baby who needs a daddy, you must consider staying put even without being married. After the baby comes, if he is like most, he will very likely decide it's just too much reponsibility and split. I hope that doesn't happen for your baby's sake, but I think you need to prepare yourself for the possibility. There is a pattern to how these situations develop. I hope yours does not play out that way.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:13 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • maybe he is waiting for that special moment when he can propose and make it a totally great memory. maybe after you have your child and are holding the baby in your arms he will surprise you right then and there. my husband behind my back went and bought a beautiful clearance necklace that i pointed out to him. he held onto it for nearly 8 months and gave it to me in the delivery room after i gave birth. that was special and i will never forget it.

    either way i hope you get the outcome that you want. but to me it sounds like he isn't going anywhere.
    xtwilightx

    Answer by xtwilightx at 9:16 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Hey guys, I wasn't able to add on background info because it made it too long but this may make it better to understand. When we first started seeing eachother both of us agreed that we didn't want anything serious... especially not marriage. Three months later we said I love you, a year later we were planning a family. November he asked my sister for my ring size and confided in her that he was going to pop the question... never did. I proposed to him last week. He said that he was thinking about asking me but with my mom in Spain taking care of my grandma he wanted to wait. My father passed away when I was 16 so he wants me to have my mom here with me throughout the process. I told him that I would too but who knows how long she'll be in Spain. I love him and want to be with him. That's when he gave me the line of "when the time is right".
    angelbaby053099

    Comment by angelbaby053099 (original poster) at 9:18 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Be patient, let him do it right.
    older

    Answer by older at 9:21 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • men are go getters, they don't wait on things they really want. thus the invention of instant replay. if they don't want to wait to see a sports play, why would they want to wait on making a commitment to the mother of their child?
    keisha613

    Answer by keisha613 at 9:23 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

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