Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Can anyone relate?

Met a guy a a little over a year ago, bonded a lot, having a lot of sex with him. He constantly tells me he loves me and wants to marry me, but he wants to take things slow. He came out of a 4yr. relationship with his ex who dumped him out of the blue. We know each other's family and friends, he calls me all of the time. I'm afraid to believe he really wants to be in a long term relationship with me because he will not move past the dating stage. Every now and then he'll say things like I really want to be with you, but right now we're just dating. I don't take his words seriously and I don't call him anymore because I feel like he's just passing time and waiting for someone he feels he is more compatible with, but I want to believe he loves me as much as I love him. I feel like why would he put so much effort into this if he wasn't interested in something more than just friends with benefits.

Answer Question

Asked by serenity829 at 11:23 AM on Oct. 8, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • So,a year has gone by dating this guy and he is send you mixed signals.. Sounds like you want more and he doesn't..Sit him down and have a good talk about what you want out of the relationship.If he doesn't feel the same way,,it's time to start dating others


    Answer by louise2 at 11:40 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • you either respect that he does not want to rush it or you dont. i dated my hubby for 3 years before we got married. sounds like he loves you by how you describe his actions. he just got out of 4 yr relationship! give him some time! enjoy dating...marriage is a whole new ball game!

    Answer by CNehneva at 11:49 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • You said "He constantly tells me he loves me and wants to marry me"...... that doesn't sound like he's taking it slow at all..... but when you add all the other stuff in here what it sounds like is that he's stringing you along...... And there could be more than one reason for that, and they're not all bad. Maybe he really does love you and he is hoping that you won't give up on him before he gets to a place where he can totally commit to you. The kicker comes in when we tell you.... you don't need to let him do this to you no matter what his reason is..... you deserve for him be with you or not... just that cut and dry. He may not be a bad guy at all... but if he can't commit himself to you and you need that, then you have to move on. It's time he either shits or gets off the pot...

    Answer by PaceMyself at 11:53 AM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • yup, i think your right! read " he's just not that into you" you will read yourself in that book. i say why waste your time with him. men always know when they want to marry someone, always no matter what kind of crap they have been through cause they find mrs right they know and can't wait to marry them. he is just keeping you on the back burner. my hubby couldn't wait to marry me and said he knew when he first saw me by the feeling he felt that he was going to marry me. he had no idea where that came from but in the end we think god made him feel that. he placed us with each other. this man is not the one for you. keep looking. maybe when the time is right he will come back but right now he's just not that into you.

    Answer by melody77 at 12:38 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • You've been with him a year. I do think he is into you or he wouldn't be there. He's also told you he loves you. So there is something strong there in the way he feels about you. But you've been with each other for a whole year - enough time to sit down and talk about what you really mean to each other. Time to take it to the next level. My boyfriend took a while the first year. Each time I thought "I need more" he beat me to it and before I even needed to say anything, he brought it up a notch. But he was abandoned too by his ex and had a lot of healing to do. You might be treading on eggshells too afraid of rocking the boat. You both need to have an honest talk. It took my bf 9 months to call me girlfriend and 10 months to say he loved me. We took it slow but it is solid.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 1:23 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

  • I think that maybe beacuse of that last relationship that he was in, he is just scared. I honestly believe that he does care for you or he wouldn't stick around. Guys normally dont stick around for girls they don't care for. Maybe you should talk to him about it, just be honest.

    Answer by atjm0919 at 10:19 PM on Oct. 8, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.