Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Why do i feel help less because i can't work and can't help with the bills?

Answer Question

Asked by babycambray at 11:28 AM on Aug. 20, 2010 in Money & Work

Level 3 (25 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • just because you aren't making money doesn't mean you aren't doing anything!

    I've been threatening hubby with a monthly bill for my services because he likes to throw it in my face that I don't work with the "I pay all the bills" bull crap.

    Just think about what a maid, daycare, and personal cook would cost!

    I'm a SAHM because daycare for my kids was more than I would have been getting paid. Seemed a bit silly to pay more than I made to be able to work.

    Answer by DarkFaery131 at 11:33 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Why can't you work?  It's normal for someone who has been involuntarily laid off or disabled to feel helpless.  You might try focusing on what you can do and move on from there.


    Answer by MomToBeISaMom at 11:33 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I felt that way too at first; I worked 40-50 hour weeks up until I was 4 months along and the doctor made me stop. Been home ever since... It definitely took some adjusting to, but I have to look at it like this: it might not pay, but taking care of our DD, cooking, cleaning, etc. is my "job" and it makes life easier on my DH when he gets home. :)

    Answer by Kassey713 at 11:34 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • my hubby does not want me to work because like u say its not worth day care and i don't trust day care

    Comment by babycambray (original poster) at 11:35 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • The family functions as a whole, no matter who is or isn't working. I don't work outside of the home either, but my husband wouldn't be able to work outside of the home without me here to handle the domestic business. =)

    Answer by Erin814 at 11:35 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I live with my adult son. I'm disabled and get SSI. He expects me to do everything, even thing he has heard the doctor tell me not to do. He said I should do it with a smile on and just be happy I have a place to live. He leaves clothes everywhere. This morning there was a cereal bowl full of milk sitting on the vcr. We have a dog that could have knocked it over. He destroys the kitchen. There are jeans out in the mud in the dog run that have been rained on. I'm even supposed to clean his room. He won't change the light bulbs in the kitchen ceiling light and it's about 10 feet high. I've waited 2 weeks so I guess I will have to climb a ladder. If I don't do everything he threatens to throw me out. He puts my things in the trash. I would love to not be disabled, have a job, and my own place.


    Answer by Gailll at 11:40 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Gailll..thats terrible of your son to treat you that way. Did he forget that youre his MOTHER, not his slave?? OOOO...I hope my son doesnt treat me that way when he his grown...never too old or too big to get a swift kick in the butt, you know!

    As for the OP:Its normal to feel that way when you have some pride, I feel that way too when I feel like I rely on dh for our finances. It makes me feel trapped, sometimes, really..even though he doesnt in anywy try to make me feel that way. Just know that you are NOT helpless, I'm sure you contribute in some way...even if its a smile a day that brightens someone elses day. Hang in there.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 11:47 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Give your self more credit than you are. You cook, do laundry, clean, take care of the kids all day, keep your self presentable, sometimes taxi, grocrery shop, sex partner. Think how much all that would add up to for your S/O to deduct from his pay check every mo. I think most people including our S/O seem to forget this. Your worth every penney you earn as a SAHM, pat yourself on the back.

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 12:01 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Gailll: Keep in mind. Your son has not grown old or older yet . He doesn't know what his future holds. Karma Karma

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 12:05 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Have you considered part-time work or work at home positions? Being a full time working mom is not for everyone, but neither is being a SAHM. You and your family need to find a balance that works for you. Best wishes.

    Answer by MomToBeISaMom at 12:05 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Money & Work
Bill Collector....