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2 Bumps

What should I do...

My husband is becoming more and more impossible, and even more so after our son was born. He wants to be in control of anything and everything that has to do with our son and if it can't go his way he just threatens divorce. He throws the "D" word around like its nothing. The biggest issue recently is that he does not want my mom to babysit so that we can go out for our anniversary tomorrow night so now he does not want to go out and wants a divorce instead... I am at my wits end!! he is supposed to be on anti-depressant medication but refuses to take it, he claims he does not need it anymore but this 90% of the problem but I cannot convince him of this.


Asked by CarlieJS at 11:43 AM on Aug. 20, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 14 (1,539 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Definitely time for counseling. And he needs to deal with his mental health issues. You promised to love him in sickness and in health but not if he is unwilling to take the steps to get himself healthy. That is just ridiculous. Depression is serious and if it isn't handled it can end up ruining both of your lives. GL!

    Answer by MaryMW at 12:06 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Wow. Well..he can't hide behind his mental illness for everything especially when he refuses to do anythign about it. If he isn't dealing with his mental problem then why should you have to put up with it?
    I would say fine. You don't want my mother to babysit, then who would you prefer to babysit. And if he says noone, then say thats fine too.Let him stay at home with the baby and YOU go out without him.If he wants to act like a jerk, then treat him like one.If he wants a divorce just to control you...then let him have it, thats his choice.
    I hope things work out. I'm sorry that your anniversary seems to be on the verge of being ruined because of him. :(

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 12:13 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • It is time for counseling

    Answer by Bmat at 11:46 AM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Yes, time for counseling!

    Answer by older at 12:31 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Thanks everyone, It sounds like I am on the same page as all of you. The only person he will allow to babysit is his own mother it is her or no one he thinks his mom is the best thing that walked this earth and her ways are THE ways. I did suggest counseling and then that turned into to "how is that going to fix your family" I don't know what my family has to do with it or what they did to piss him off but whatever... Also he says that the only way we can fix our problems is for me to not "make all the decisions without him" I actually include him in EVERYTHING! for the 1st time I thought it would be nice to make the arrangements to have a babysitter so we could go out and then it was all taken care of and that is what started the whole thing. He definitely needs to take care of his mental issues because he would not get mad about things so easily but he refuses.

    Comment by CarlieJS (original poster) at 12:31 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • I have told him that I would rather be alone than live with his mood swings, so if divorce is what he wants then I guess I am ready for it. and I honestly think that the reason he will not agree to counseling is because he does not want to be told that A) he needs his meds, and B) he is wrong. and I am completely open to being the one in the wrong and to take that criticism but he can't handle it.

    Comment by CarlieJS (original poster) at 12:34 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Good luck I hope everything works out for the best.

    Answer by HopefulMom2B08 at 12:41 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • Thank you

    Comment by CarlieJS (original poster) at 12:50 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • He should also be supporting his mental heath nutritionally. B vitamins, zinc, vitamin C and iron all contribute to mood. It will take 4-6 months of consistent nutritional support to achieve real results, but doing that could mean at least a reduction in pharmacological interventions.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 1:28 PM on Aug. 20, 2010

  • You need to do waht is right for you and your son. He sounds like he needs a lot of help and if he won't go into couseling with you then you should look into for yourself, and decided where to go from there. God Bless you. I pray that everything works out for you.

    Answer by TurboMom81 at 2:27 PM on Aug. 20, 2010